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Author: Olesya (---.parma.ru)
Date: 05-24-06 13:13
Hi everybody!
I was reading your correspondence for a long time… You will never come to the conclusion. As to me, partly I agree with Angel, Olga and Smiling, partly with men. Girls, you are absolutely right, clever and well educated girl will never get married to an old man, but… But life is too difficult. Do you know that Charlie Chaplin was older than his wife for 30 years? He died on her arms she loved him. Young woman loved old man, why? Do you think only because of his money or famous? But to my mind he was a very interesting man with a wide outlook. It is difficult to ignore such men, even with huge difference in age. To tell the truth I can not fall in love with old man too, as Angel, Smiling and Olga, but I understand that people are very different, and maybe some of girls who became wives of old men did not want fall in love with such men too. Young woman can come under elder man’s charm and charisma. I respect old people, and do not want hurt somebody’s feelings, all people get older with every year. I hope that one day I will a granny for somebody too. I do not feel fear thinking about age, maybe a little. I think that people (most part of them) with huge difference in age can not be happy for a long time in a marriage. People from different generation are too different, younger generation has to find it’s own way in life, achieve it’s aims and find it’s own place in this big world. But nobody can be insured against love. I think a lot of people know this proverb: “Never speak never”. Elder generation won it’s laurels, but younger has to deserve it. It is great to get older at the same time, together, help each other in old age. And I think that most part of men which marry young women are selfish persons. I am going to explain why… So, I think that young woman can fell in love with elder man easily. Usually men over 40 are interesting, know a lot about life, wise good listeners and so on. Young and naïve girls can easily fall in love with wise and interesting men, which know a lot about women and can pay court to women in such a way that she can not refuse to be his wife. Usually young men are lacking of experiences and sometimes look awkward in comparison with older men. But if old man really loves his young girl, he has to think her future with him over and over again. Yes, they will be happy with her. If she really loves him she would nurse about him when he would be very old or ill, would never through him away form her life. But is it justice??? Do you want your own daughters have such future? What did you do when you were young? Recall your youth, your dreams, wishes… Were you dreaming about women about 60 all the nights? Probably everything was absolutely different. You should always remember that most part of young girl do not marry elder men but sell themselves to them. People in such marriage are not equal, I think everybody understands it. A lot of young woman wants support, not only financial. A lot of girls living without father, want to marry elder man to fill empty in their lives. So we can see easily that in such marriage people make not realized transaction. She gives him her youth and beauty and he gives her his support. As I have already written, support can be not only financial, but moral. Girls from families without father become wives of old men oftener than girls from families without father. They are trying to make up a deficiency from their childhood. So, dear men, you have “a lot of choice”. You can marry girl with psychic problems, you may marry girl with great love to money and you have a very little chance to find a real love with young girl. You can burn oneself thousands times and never find loving young girl. You can be happy together for a long time. You can live together for 20 or 30 years, but one day (sorry for this) old husband would die. So, does old man think about future such woman??? For example a woman about 30 get married to man about 60. So, after 30 years she will be 60 and he will be a man about 80 and when he die she will be alone. People normally have to meet their old age together, they have a lot of common interests they can help each other. But what about such unhappy widow? What should she do? Old men doom young women to loneliness in old age without any moral support form him. Dear old men, do not be so egoist, do not doom younger women to loneliness in empty house with pictures and thoughts about her past happy life. When men get married with young women they do not think about future their young wives, they think only about their feelings. They feel pride, thinking about their young wives and their self-appraisal increases in geometrical progression. There’s no any love only selfishness. If you love somebody you will never think only about your future and happy life, but you will think about future your wife or husband. I am not sure that I will never fall in love with man over 37, but I want to find somebody from my generation, with common approach to life, common interests and aims in life. Different generations have nothing common (of course it is only my point of view). One day (as I have already written) I would be an old woman (about 60, 70 and so on) and I know that I would not have common aims, thoughts, wishes and so on with man which younger me for 20 or 30 years. And I will never take offence with him knowing that I am old for him. We have to think about ourselves without archness and with understanding that everything has it own time and place, and everybody has his/her own daybreak (youth) and elder generations should help younger find their own place in life. We should not envy younger people, and take offence with their youth thinking that it is not justice to you. I am young (27 years old) but there’re a lot of younger girls than me 18 for example. I have a very handsome neighbour. He is 18 years old. But I have never thought about dating with him, he is a child for me. And it is not offensive to think about it. How could we take offence with nature and time? So, dear elder men, we are wiser and more experienced than younger people and you should never take offence with Olga, Angel and Smiling and me. You should show younger generation advantages NOT disadvantages of your age. Show your politeness, wisdom and authority to younger. One man in this site wrote that Kate is better than Angel, Olga and Smiling because she did not put her profile on site, she find her husband by herself.… So, we have to be higher and do not use such expressions, that man should explain what he does on this site. Why he does not find somebody by himself. So, everybody can think he means that women on different sites are not worth to get to know. I am sure he wrote this because of his offence to girls’ expressions about men’s age. But as I have already written, you should be understanding and wiser than younger people. You have such treasure that we can get only with ages. I understand girls’ feelings and share it. I want to find a man from 27 to 37. I do not find a man over 37. It is my choice, but I am not sure that I will never fall in love with a man elder than 37. But I will never get to know a man over 37 with aim to get married with him. I can be only a friend for such a man. I explained why. I want to get older with my husband. I do not want to become a widow at 40 or 50 years old. Angel, Smiling and Olga are ambitious and clever girls and you should understand their youthful maximalism. I can not agree with Kate. She wrote that it is intolerable to buy a pair of choose for 300 dollars. I like such shoes too. And dear Kate, good pair of chose costs money. You wrote about food and things for children. But as for my child, he has everything he wants. I am not rich, but I am not poor. I can buy a pair of good chose and do not notice anything bad in it. It is not a very good habit, counting somebody’s money besides your own. Kate you wrote that nobody could judge about you without knowing, but how could you wrote such things like these “and who would give 300 for a pair of shoes that is a stuid women to give that kind of money for their feet it could have been spent for food for there children not for them self” How can you name Smiling stupid without knowing her? Could we speak on this site without hurting each other’s feelings. When I saw this site for the first time I thought that people in this site are trying to understand each other better and exchanging with each other with their advices, opinion and so on. But now it seems to me that people turn into cats and dogs on this site trying to hurt somebody’s feelings. It is a pity. Well educated, people with a wide outlook should not treat each other like cats to dogs. We are from different countries with different traditions, customs and we have a chance to understand each other’s culture better speaking in this forum. Maybe we will not find wives and husbands but real friends. It is very good too. We can become foes very easy, but lets try to become friends. Lets think before typing rough things hearting somebody’s feelings. Lets respect ourselves respecting other people. Selfish is not good trait of character.
Oh, now I’m selfish too, I make you read such a long message, like a story. Sorry. (LOL)
Toni wrote:
> Smiling
> Very true remark. It completely agree with your opinion.
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