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 Winter/Spring Relationships (Older Men/Younger Women)

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Author: Natalia (---.iptelecom.net.ua)
Date:   07-09-03 07:07

What are the pros and cons? Do these relationships survive? What can be done to resolve negative family reations? Why are people afraid of committing themselves to somethings so wonderful? How long should a younger women wait if an older man says he wants to marry her?
I think many people faced questions like this. To help others find answer faster than we did, I offer to share some of the personal experiences or experiences you observed from people around you.

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 Re: Winter/Spring Relationships (Older Men/Younger Women)

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Author: faruk (---.dial-in.ttnet.net.tr)
Date:   07-11-03 14:31

Dear Nata, what is the mean of this sentences ? ;
"Ìû íå ïîäõîäèì äğóã äğóãó.Èçâåíè. " (Open it with Kyril Alphabet please)
A member of your site has sent it to me...

Regards..
FARUK

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 Re: Winter/Spring Relationships (Older Men/Younger Women)

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Author: john (---.client.comcast.net)
Date:   07-11-03 20:37

myself , iam sick of the dating scene . if i can find a woman i love it doent matter if there here or overseas . love is a rare and wonderful thing if you find it hold it to your heart . so spring winter to me love is a consent thing . the only thing that brings us human together . i make sound cheeky but it how i personally feel . best regards john h usa

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 Re: Winter/Spring Relationships (Older Men/Younger Women)

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Author: john (---.client.comcast.net)
Date:   07-11-03 21:15

sorry about the typing i broke my arm so i am not the best typiest . thanks for bearing with , john john wrote:

> myself , iam sick of the dating scene . if i can find a woman i
> love it doent matter if there here or overseas . love is a
> rare and wonderful thing if you find it hold it to your heart
> . so spring winter to me love is a consent thing . the only
> thing that brings us human together . i make sound cheeky but
> it how i personally feel . best regards john h usa

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 Re: Winter/Spring Relationships (Older Men/Younger Women)

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Author: Natalia (---.iptelecom.net.ua)
Date:   07-14-03 08:21

Hello Faruk,

Regarding to your question that you got in different encoding , The meaning of that phrase is "I will not be able to write you, we don't fit each other. I am sorry." If you have any more questions, please, contact me.

Natalia.

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 Re: Winter/Spring Relationships (Older Men/Younger Women)

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Author: Natalia (---.iptelecom.net.ua)
Date:   07-14-03 08:32

Those who answer in Russian, most probably do not know English or are in search of the countrymen who also speak their native language.
Try to contact those who pointed in their profiles that they know English, or also you can try using our online translator to send message back also in Russian.

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 Re: Winter/Spring Relationships (Older Men/Younger Women)

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Author: faruk (---.dial-in.ttnet.net.tr)
Date:   07-14-03 13:22

Dear Natalia,
This is very good topic; Older men/younger women !! It is just suitable to me !!! Because I recieved a letter from a younger woman, here is ;
""I will not be able to write you, we don't fit each other. I am sorry"
It is a short answer to your topic... no any comment !!!
Regards...
FARUK

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 Re: Winter/Spring Relationships (Older Men/Younger Women)

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Author: Natalia (---.iptelecom.net.ua)
Date:   07-16-03 05:29

I guess that most important in searching of a life partner or friend is ability to see and understand who is the right person for you. We can't expect that everyone will respond in a positive way, but even if someone said "I am sorry", is it the reason to immediately become upset? Far not so! There are many others around, just make another try! I wish everyone good luck!

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 Re: Winter/Spring Relationships (Older Men/Younger Women)

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Author: tann (217.66.146.---)
Date:   07-19-03 15:55

Hi,
Haven't seen any happy couple with a big age distance. They all get into troubles with misunderstanding and separate sooner or later.
It sounds strange but you find happy couples with contrary difference faster - when a woman is older. I do know such happy examples, women are 7-11 years older!
Looks really funny when her son is almost the same age with her husband but they feel quite comfortable :)

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 Re: Winter/Spring Relationships (Older Men/Younger Women)

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Author: Natalia (---.iptelecom.net.ua)
Date:   07-21-03 05:23

I'd say that every couple is unique, and every situation is very individual. There are people whose life experience includes both - relationships with older and younger - just at different life stages. The one who lived that through can say much - either positive or negative things, but to give comments standing aside is quite a difference.

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 Re: Winter/Spring Relationships (Older Men/Younger Women)

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Author: tann (217.66.147.---)
Date:   07-22-03 19:17

An opinion of that one, who is or was involved in relationship, is almost always subjective. A spectator’s opinion is much closer to reality.
An individual is inclined to cherish illusions and to hope for the better ending by nature and a man in love sees things through rose-coloured spectacles.
Well, of course, there are exceptions as everywhere but they are uncommon.
As for the question how to push an older man to marry a girl, there is no universal recipe and can’t be, just because as you have said – everyone is unique and the only he knows which of his strings to pull. It seems to me, if he didn’t do that at the beginning… the further the less chances.

Although I had to remark that I meant Russian and “former USSR” mentality first in my message. Relations between people in other countries develop with another script, that’s for sure. Just different conditions, motivation and life style. So there they possibly can survive :)

Is it so important to be married these days? Let's open a new topic why people want to marry :)

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 Re: Winter/Spring Relationships (Older Men/Younger Women)

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Author: john (---.client.comcast.net)
Date:   07-23-03 03:15

me i want to marry like all people to make a leagacy for the next generation . personally i find american woman swallow and golddigging . i look elsewhere for a heart and soul mate . love is to rare in this world . so when you find try for it die for it cherish it . without malice or hate or games regards john h

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 Re: Winter/Spring Relationships (Older Men/Younger Women)

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Author: Yulia (---.iptelecom.net.ua)
Date:   07-24-03 08:53

I'd agree that in relationship "everything depends" ... Everyone is looking for what is more close to his/her own views and perceptions. Now I don't think i could be satisfied in a relationship where a man is younger than me, i guess for me it would not feel right. But that's again all about life experiences. I think a woman wants her man to be stronger and more important - wiser in life.
To comment the previous answer I'd say a couple of words too. "swallow and golddigging " women can be everywhere, one should learn how to recognize them, but I guess they can wear their masks very masterfully sometimes. So i wish everyone to deal with more open and sincere people who live without show off and other kind of "masquerade" (spelling????);-)

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 Re: Winter/Spring Relationships (Older Men/Younger Women)

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Author: john (---.client.comcast.net)
Date:   07-24-03 13:26

Iam sorry about the typo i made on the prevoius statement . Broken arm si not the best typiest now. Anyway i am saying a lot of american woman i feel are that way i not saying women in whole. I feel love as no boundries from someone being older or they younger there no gap thats defines love . People can lie cheat steal or whatever it up to us as a people or person to find that out . Love to me is far to prescious to take for granted so if i ever find it i will fight for with every fiber of my being , if some people disagree to bad that my personal believe . good day john

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 Re: Winter/Spring Relationships (Older Men/Younger Women)

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Author: Yulia (---.iptelecom.net.ua)
Date:   07-25-03 04:40

Sorry, I guess I confused you mentioning spelling, but in no way that regarded you! I simply was not sure about the word "masquerade" ;-)
To correct mistakes is a teacher's job, I am not a teacher at all, so let's feel relaxed! I like that a man as young as you knows real value of true feeling and seeks not just for a one night stand but for the love of his life. I guess such people are rare to meet nowadays, someone may be very lucky and happy to be with you. You two just have to find each other in this huge world which I wish you sincerely. And get well with your arm ;-) Good day to you and everyone!

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 Re: Winter/Spring Relationships (Older Men/Younger Women)

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Author: john (---.client.comcast.net)
Date:   07-30-03 03:10

thanks for the comments i wish you well in all your endeavers . chao

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 Re: Winter/Spring Relationships (Older Men/Younger Women)

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Author: Mark Stevens (---.range217-44.btcentralplus.com)
Date:   07-30-03 13:52

May - December relationships/marriages do work - at least as well as any other type of relationship and perhaps a bit better. Up until recently, I was married to a woman 25 years my junior. We had stayed married for eight years. Given a bit of tolerance and patience, the age difference need not be a big deal. Sure, there is some friction, different tastes in music and whatnot but a lot of upside as well.

What was in it for her? She avoided some of the hassles of dealing with the younger male of the species and probably lived a life style that was beyond reach in an 'age appropriate" relationship.

What was in it for me? A more dynamic relationship. My peers, unhappily, are parked in front of the TV, vote for Bush (or the Tories), have grown pear shaped and fret about noisey neighbors. Perhaps because I am myself immature, it was nice to be with someone who wanted to go out and play.

The one thing that May-December relationships don't accomidate well is children. For some young women that can be a deal breaker but it really is more than a bit irresponsible to breed and die and leave mama holding the sodding baby.

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 Re: Winter/Spring Relationships (Older Men/Younger Women)

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Author: Yulia (---.iptelecom.net.ua)
Date:   07-31-03 10:12

I agree the most important is a real feeling and many common views and interests which make a couple hold together, then age difference can hardly be noticed.

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 Re: Winter/Spring Relationships (Older Men/Younger Women)

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Author: Light (---.DNVTCO56.covad.net)
Date:   09-04-03 00:21

What about older woman and younger man?

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 Re: Winter/Spring Relationships (Older Men/Younger Women)

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Author: timsam (66.180.97.---)
Date:   09-07-03 12:18

You are too young to date a younger man. Give it 10 years.

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 Re: Winter/Spring Relationships (Older Men/Younger Women)

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Author: Light (---.DNVTCO56.covad.net)
Date:   09-08-03 00:35

I am not talking about my self....how do you like if woman would be older than her man? Men use to have 2 faces they like young girls and the don`t like to see couple where man is younger! I really can`t understand why!!!!!!!!!!

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 Re: Winter/Spring Relationships (Older Men/Younger Women)

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Author: Igor (62.152.82.---)
Date:   09-08-03 09:05

My oppinion. Man have to take care of his wife. This is very difficult when he younger.

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 Re: Winter/Spring Relationships (Older Men/Younger Women)

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Author: selfmade01 (---.telenet-ops.be)
Date:   09-22-03 07:42

Well Natalia, let me answer to this topic. we are talking about love, commitment i suppose. I think, when some "older men" would say, you can live with me, even with no selfish thoughts, many girls would not even go in on that proposal
Regards
Gerrit

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 Re: Winter/Spring Relationships (Older Men/Younger Women)

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Author: Patrick Ashby (---.ord.marketscore.com)
Date:   09-22-03 19:34

often times then winter/spring relationsship can work wonderful especially if the woman is seeking security and fidelity and devotion. When most fo my peers were younger the had no problem looking for and taking women other than there marriage partner. AS a older man I am no longer a player as we call it here. I know that my partner now would not have to worry about my fidelity and most of my current friends are the same way. We all have seen what it can do to a whole family and many of us have been on the reverse side now. I believe if she can be happy with you and you happy with her go for it. the end result is really what it is all about. I was a psychologist for 30 years in practice and the winter spring relationships actually had a better survival rate the same age marriages. good luck for both sides.

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 Re: Winter/Spring Relationships (Older Men/Younger Women)

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Author: Liza (195.230.149.---)
Date:   10-01-03 01:59

This is very interesting topic for psychologists too. But all people must know about some kind relations between men and women. One of these kinds relations is man-father and women-daughter. Next kinds relations are, for example, man-son and woman-mother or man-father and woman-mother and etc.
When the man has a meet with a young woman, he must determine who is she: mother, daughter or adult partner.
The better relations between man-father and women-daughter of course in our case.

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 Re: Winter/Spring Relationships (Older Men/Younger Women)

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Author: Irina (195.161.241.---)
Date:   10-03-03 06:43

If HE and SHE loves each other, they ready to compromise and mutual concessions. They are ready to change in itself something. But this it is important in any family, more so if between spouse big difference at age. But most main - for loving heart of the difference at age does not exist!

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 Re: Winter/Spring Relationships (Older Men/Younger Women)

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Author: Simon (---.in-addr.btopenworld.com)
Date:   11-24-03 22:50

Hi ,

I feel this question has to be answered in two ways. Firstly if the partners realy want a relationship to last for all thire lifes then an age gap of 10 years realy has to be the upper limit in my opinion. However if one seeks a shorter or has an attatude to enjoy it while it lasts then i guess bigger age gaps are fine.

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 Re: Winter/Spring Relationships (Older Men/Younger Women)

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Author: Light (---.DNVTCO56.dynamic.covad.net)
Date:   12-17-03 00:15

As for me, I would naver be attracted toa guy my fathers age...No way! It is disgusting!!!!!!!!!

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 Re: Winter/Spring Relationships (Older Men/Younger Women)

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Author: John T Owens (---.bos.east.verizon.net)
Date:   12-17-03 07:47

Dear Sveta, Light, Luz:
S roshdestvom! How about a guy your grandfather's age? You always have something very interesting to say, and with such gusto!. I think you would make a very good American woman, feisty and opinionated, but well intentioned and stylish.
You are right of course, there is no difference between American and Russian women, they are both good-hearted and beautiful. Our American women are so smart that they no longer feel that they need men, and it is only when people need each other that love can grow. So we have 50% divorces, and the ex-wives here are prosperous, with good jobs and at least half of their ex-husband's money, some of which they deserve.
A great American woman, Barbra Streisand, sang a great song "People, people who need people, are the luckiest people in the world."
Don't you love Venezuela, if it ever calms down? Their music is so beautiful, especially the guitar waltzes. They have salsa too, but not as crazy as some other Latino countries.

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 Re: Winter/Spring Relationships (Older Men/Younger Women)

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Author: Light (---.DNVTCO56.dynamic.covad.net)
Date:   12-17-03 19:47

First of all my name is Light...About guy my grandfathers age, no thanks. I think I still can attract nice guy my age...
And yes, I do love my country...for me it is the best! So I don`t think I would ever want to become American woman, but I have lots of friends in America.

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 Re: Winter/Spring Relationships (Older Men/Younger Women)

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Author: Gisbert (---.dip0.t-ipconnect.de)
Date:   01-03-04 16:53

Why do discussions like this start to get more insulting the further they develop? Light, of course you will attract men your age (if your pic is not a fake), but noone ever doubted that. So what's your point? If you wanted to state you don't like older men, you made that clear alright. No problem. But that was not the topic of this discussion. I agree to Patrick, the chance for a winter/spring relationship to last is higher for the reasons he gave. Just my 2c.

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 Re: Winter/Spring Relationships (Older Men/Younger Women)

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Author: Light (---.DNVTCO56.dynamic.covad.net)
Date:   01-07-04 05:39

Very interesting....First of all Gisbert, I wasn`t talking to You. My last posting was an answer to John, where he asking me would I like a guy grandfathers age, so read more carefuly! And as I see you are only one person here who trying to insult somebody. So what's your point?
As for me, I don`t believe in this spring\winter relationships, and you guys shouldn`t too...You know why? Because there so many many many nice young girl in Russia, and other countries, which dreaming just to leave there countries and use you for this. Your hearts would be broken not my! So this very very good and check your girlfriends...I don`t deny that love can be, but I can guarantee that it would be very hard to find true love from the girls side...chance exist but very small!

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 Re: Winter/Spring Relationships (Older Men/Younger Women)

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Author: BarryC (---.pineland.net)
Date:   01-16-04 04:10

Getting used is when your ex-wife borrowed 500,000 6 months before she left citing discontent

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 Re: Winter/Spring Relationships (Older Men/Younger Women)

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Author: Marina (---.intranet.kg)
Date:   01-17-04 15:50

the older man+the young girl=the best family

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 Re: Winter/Spring Relationships (Older Men/Younger Women)

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Author: dinos (---.dip0.t-ipconnect.de)
Date:   01-19-04 04:55

what??

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 Re: Winter/Spring Relationships (Older Men/Younger Women)

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Author: Irina (62.183.50.---)
Date:   01-19-04 05:16

Not allways, Marina. All depend from He and from She.

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 Re: Winter/Spring Relationships (Older Men/Younger Women)

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Author: Katerina (---.vtc.ru)
Date:   01-20-04 07:20

I think, everybody can choose by himself, one girl likes older men and another girl may love younger men. I absolutely agree with Irina, all depends from people.

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 Re: Winter/Spring Relationships (Older Men/Younger Women)

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Author: Marina (---.intranet.kg)
Date:   01-20-04 17:17

well.
But I am sure only older man can do me happy.
He is serious.
And young men are as little boys.

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 Re: Winter/Spring Relationships (Older Men/Younger Women)

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Author: Irina (62.183.50.---)
Date:   01-21-04 02:49

Hello all!
Marina, not all young men "are as little boys". I know mach young men, which serious and responsible. But married with older or young men - a personal deal of each girl. Good luck!

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 Re: Winter/Spring Relationships (Older Men/Younger Women)

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Author: Richard (---.cache.pol.co.uk)
Date:   01-23-04 03:41

I think it depends more on the compatibity of the two people and not just the age. If they both have common interests, can understand each other and have fun together then there is no reason why the relationship can't succeed. A relationship between men and woman of different age needs to be a good match just like a relationship between two people of the same age - I think this is where people often go wrong, they forget about the basics.

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 Re: Winter/Spring Relationships (Older Men/Younger Women)

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Author: Richard (---.cache.pol.co.uk)
Date:   01-23-04 06:39

Just noticed my typing error in the first line!

I meant to say "compatibility of the two people" and not "compatibity"!

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 Re: Winter/Spring Relationships (Older Men/Younger Women)

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Author: Irina (62.183.50.---)
Date:   01-23-04 11:06

Yes. "compatibility of the two people" is main. And rapport.

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 Re: Winter/Spring Relationships (Older Men/Younger Women)

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Author: Andrew (---.mas.optusnet.com.au)
Date:   03-20-04 23:05

There are true aspects in all that has been said by participants. There is no single truth a "black and white" . We are people , and as such each and every one has different motivations depending on individual circumistances.
Mr. X is 20 years older , he has a liking for young females , the young female lives in poverty, she has no objection , they meet , like each other get married ...later they either stick together or part for one reason or another just like all other "same season" marriages. Are there statistics to show if divorce is higher between the two classes of marriages? I guess the chances of a breakup will be a bit higher for obvious reasons.
But I am not in a position to say do not go for it..No of course not...we have two consenting adults who both know what is good for them...hidden agendas? well they are hidden by their nature.
I hate to see people set rules of conduct , or moralisations for other people. It is this very attitude that is wrecking the peace in this world and creating so much division and conflicts.

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 Re: Winter/Spring Relationships (Older Men/Younger Women)

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Author: Oxana (---.82.209.220.70.belpak.mogilev.by)
Date:   03-21-04 03:15

I agree with Andrew. I don't think there are any rules between two people.
I can meet him in my life. I can communicate with him. For instance I don't know his age - but I can look at his face, his eyes, we understand each other.
Why should I be afraid of his age?

The other question : as a rule his parents may don't like me, if I am older than he. They want a better party for their son. The younger one. If he is not mature enough, he will lean on their conclusion...and sooner or later he will do as they have adviced...

As a rule our girls married older foreign men - 10-15 years older.
I don't know even one girl who married a foreigner younger her :-))

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 Re: Winter/Spring Relationships (Older Men/Younger Women)

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Author: John T Owens (---.bos.east.verizon.net)
Date:   03-21-04 05:13

Good on you, Andrew but is that you sitting behind a big Foster's with a cigarette and a red Santa's hat?

I would just make a distinction between moralizing and morals. The first is a pain in a place where the monkey put the nuts. The second is a requirement for a sane world.

I plead guilty to liking younger women. They haven't turned cynical yet, and tend to be forgiving.

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 Re: Winter/Spring Relationships (Older Men/Younger Women)

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Author: David (---.sea1-4-5-063-172.sea1.dsl-verizon.net)
Date:   04-17-04 00:17

Well, this has been an interesting topic. Maybe this will keep it going a little longer.
Throughout history, the man has, generally always been older than his bride. I'm sure you all can imagine the many logical reasons that this has been so, given that the man was expected to provide comfort and safety for his woman.
If a young woman has a man her own age, what advantage is that to her. He has no more experience than she, so he can't help her there. The only thing he will have is his greater physical strength. Which in the 21st century means very little.
Perhaps this is why there is such a power struggle that goes on in American marriages. Both feel that they are more qualified to make decisions than the other. Since the man has little no more life experience than his woman, she feels no comfort resting in his decisions.
The modern American woman frowns on any husband being any more than several years older than his wife. While at the same time they seek, more and more, a husband that is actually quite a bit youger than themselves. You only have to go onto the domestic dating sites and review a few of the American womens requirements of their dates to see this trend.
Thank God that there are still places left in the world that American culture hasn't screwed up yet. Because thats where you'll find the true, good and noble woman. I just cant figure out why any would want to come over here. And, mind you, if you do get one over here, I hope you know how to treat her so she does't take on the worst of our western traits and none of the good ones. Or worse yet, regret ever comming here.

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 Re: Winter/Spring Relationships (Older Men/Younger Women)

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Author: Vince (82.213.201.---)
Date:   06-22-04 07:48

Hello all - hope I am not too late to add comments here

My parents are a great case in point in the discussion. My mother is 60 and my father 79 - so a 19 year age difference. They met 35 years ago and then split up. Met again 20 years ago and have been together ever since. They hold hands when they are out together, and have bad times like every other marriage - whether same season or spring autimn.

I have often thought that if I coudl find someone where in 20 years time people would look to us and say "I hope we will be like that when were older" Then I thnk I would have cracked it.

So does it work - of course it does - there are many examples where it has (my parents being one of many). And of course there are many examples where it doesnt work. But isnt this the case in life n general.

One final point - my mother had a house and a good job when she re=-met my step father. He walked out on a marriage (a loveless one) with only the clothes on his back - neither has an interest in money (my mother likes spending it but thats it) and both are as happy now as they were when they first met. Love doesnt take any prisoners - it can strike you no matter how old you are and how old your partner is.

Good luck to one and all

Vince

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 Re: Winter/Spring Relationships (Older Men/Younger Women)

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Author: Rano (195.38.166.---)
Date:   06-24-04 03:00

Hi Vince, thanks for raising this topic again!

Otherwise people would continue discussing scammers and blacklists instead of real love relationships, which is the reason why we all are here :))

Ciao

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