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 Un-Solicited Advice to the Men

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Author: Joe  (---.lrock.hfc.comcastbusiness.net)
Date:   05-22-07 02:42

Guys, this 'quest' is a good thing that can work for sure...

I have been to Russia 5x and Ukraine about 10X and I have spent about 16 months total over there and over $100K on this little search/adventure/process. I could have been happily married many times but I am ashamed to say that I was just too picky and had too high of expectations. I have used agencies once I arrive there and flown to meet specific girls, I have done it all.

I firmly believe that picking out 2-3 and communicating about a month before you know you can go, then going to see 2-3 is the best way, not 1 and not 10. Just plan a time when they can give you 2-4 days without work or interuption, then spend that time with them only and in their city, dont meet them in an exotic location!!! Even if you like them, go and see the other 2 girls. Be honest, tell them before you ever meet that you are coming to meet her and another girl. A realistic woman will understand if you are upfront and honest.

But dont get in the trap of hoping beyond sanity for the 1 girl to look the way she does in the photos, or act normal as a Western thinker, you have to give yourself options. But not too many options... if you go over and use the local Agencies, the girls will have a busy life and schedule and wont be able to make time for you, and you will go crazy, guaranteed! If she does make immediate time for you be scared because how does she pay for her life?

There are great girls out there, beautiful and sincere, and there are dumb bitches also. Dont give up! Good ones are out there for sure, dont let any bad experience change your opinion on this process. Here are my keys that I have learned and I hope you will use most, if not all of these rules for your future trips...

1. English Speaking only...
I know its hard to pass on the beauties who say they will learn, but you have to. Middle level is fine, and use an interpreter for maybe a dinner date every other night, but if you are uncomfortable without an interpreter, you must pass.

2. Meet in her city...
No exceptions on this one

3. 45 days or less
E-mail many, narrow your communication down to 5 or less, talk to all on the phone multiple times, make plans to meet at least 3 of them, and be on a plane in less than 45 days. If not, the intensity and the romance will die with letters and boring phone calls. Don't start communicating til you know when you can go. The good girls ALL will have a 'show me dont tell me' attitude, and well they should.

4. Back-up plans...
If you are going to a specific area, have 1-2 local Agencies contact info on hand so that you can meet some new girls if yours dont work out. Dont sit around for even an hour, have a solid back-up Agency to call. But remember, the beautiful girls at the Agencies are difficult to get time with, so dont get frustrated.

5. Give yourself 2 weeks...
Dont go half way around the world for 7-10 days, wait and go when you can stay a while. I recommend 17-19 days, its enough time to hit 3-4 cities, and still spend quality time with one if you get lucky.

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 Re: Un-Solicited Advice to the Men

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Author: Svetlana  (213.154.211.---)
Date:   05-22-07 10:31

Dear Joe.
You look like too experienced man, you made plans for datings but still alone. Have you tried to be more spontaneous and more trustful. We are not dumb bitches. Every "bad" person has something good just need to see this.
Good luck in your searching.

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 Re: Un-Solicited Advice to the Men

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Author: TatyanaCh  (85.21.203.---)
Date:   05-24-07 18:52

Such CHMO, and needs as at Thomas Cruise!

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 Re: Un-Solicited Advice to the Men

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Author: Marina  (---.pppoe.mtu-net.ru)
Date:   05-24-07 20:43

GEE!

I wonder why such a perfect program has not made you "attached" yet?
Might it be appropriate for you to share your experience with the forum in this matter as well?

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 Re: Un-Solicited Advice to the Men

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Author: Olesya  (---.NNovgorod.dial.rol.ru)
Date:   05-25-07 14:55

TatyanaCh You are absolutely right.... SUCH CHMO.... :)))))))) perfect word for him!Ha ha ha!!!

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 Re: Un-Solicited Advice to the Men

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Author: Olesya  (---.NNovgorod.dial.rol.ru)
Date:   05-25-07 22:10

Joe, poor light-minded Joe... :)))

Do you know that you may be easily have up? No, It seems to me that you have never thought about probability of sitting in prison… It’s a pity that you don’t know laws of your country and laws of our country. But you confessed here that you travel from one place to other in searching adventures with a lot of different women. As I understand you swindle a lot of women… You did a moral prejudice to that women and they easily go to the police station and put an application about moral prejudice that you did… Because you write that you don’t want to have a serious relationship with them, so it is a real fraud. Our women are kind and forgiving and very seldom go to the police station, but if I meet such kind of men I will do everything to put him into prison for a couple of years at least. Law about moral prejudice is currently in force here. And if woman can prove that she suffered from your action toward her I will not envy you. In our country are known several stories about women who put an application about moral prejudice and one of your fellow – countryman is sitting in prison in Russia… Good luck in your searching. Maybe you don’t care about laws??? I feel a great desire to show your posters to my friend (who works in Russia) from America and ask him how we can have up you. My friend is a layer. You will jump at your own bate.

Just think about it… :))))))))

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 Re: Un-Solicited Advice to the Men

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Author: Anastasya  (81.222.188.---)
Date:   05-27-07 08:35

I'm agree with Olesya, JOE you'r CHMO((((((

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 Re: Un-Solicited Advice to the Men

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Author: Paul Mellen  (64.241.37.---)
Date:   05-27-07 20:16

I may sound stupid here, but what is CHMO? I just want to now so I don't become one!

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 Re: Un-Solicited Advice to the Men

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Author: Marina  (---.dyn.optonline.net)
Date:   05-28-07 07:55

See that, Joe? This is a Russian point of honor.

However, and this is a big however, I’m not sure that I agree with Olesya’s sarcasm, and I’m not sure that it is so necessary to show such an attitude to a man who crosses ocean to find his Russian special lady. Believe me, Olesya; it is not as easy as it seems to you.

Joe, if some day you meet a girl right on the street, who breaks all your plans and you just feel inexpressible fire in your heart, I will be happy for you, because Russian Woman is unique!

A friend of mine sent me a letter, and I would like to post it on his behalf.

Russian Woman

I am not a connoisseur of fine wines nor am I an authority on the great paintings of the world. I cannot name any particular opera or recognize the graceful steps of a ballet. But I do know what I like. I can savor a Chardonnay and appreciate a Merlot, and yet I cannot explain to you why. It would be akin to trying to explain the taste of ice-cream to a person who has always lived in a hot climate and never seen or tasted this treat. I can enjoy the technical and realist paintings of Leonardo Da Vinci, marvel at the works of Michelangelo, and derive pleasure from a child’s finger painting. And again I cannot give you reasons why my tastes drift in one direction over another while the same colors are used in all. I know what I like, even though I might not be able to express the reasons I like some things.
Russian women or maybe more appropriate: women from the former Soviet Union, have caught my attention. Although I’m no expert on women and especially Russian women, I have had the opportunity to be in the company of women from several countries.
I like Russian women. Don’t be quick to judge me or think I am too selective. I do not appraise or evaluate a woman by the color of their hair, or the color of their eyes, their height or even their home country. A Russian woman’s voice is just as musical to my ear, her laughter just as joyous, her touch just as sensual, and her kisses just as sweet as any other woman from every region of the world.
However, there is a distinction regarding the Russian woman. These pages of thought are not an attempt to explain why I like Russian women, but merely a clarification why it is nearly impossible to give a clear reason of my choice.
A few correspondences, and even a couple of short and simple letters, and I can tell that the Russian woman is well read and not a product of the television educated generation. I like the way they express themselves, even though I cannot understand all of the meaning. I have seen their temper and their compassion in the span of less than a minute. I like the way a Russian woman will take my arm when we walk, or insist on holding hands. This practice has become a lost “art” here in the west, yet it felt wonderful. The Russian woman expects a man to act chivalrously and this in turn allows me to be a gentleman. Here in the Western hemisphere; women’s “lib” has made the man uncertain on how he should act. The Russian woman respects elders and traditions and is not afraid to let people see them follow their customs.
A Russian woman asked me: “what is the first thing you noticed about us?”
It was a simple question and easily answered, but it did open my eyes to the differences. “The way you dress, women wearing dresses, high heal shoes and nice make-up”. This woman then told me what should have been obvious but her few words made it plain “We dress to impress not for comfort”. This sacrifice of comfort was truly a feast for my eyes!
Helping me feel comfortable was a pleasure for the Russians I met, a refreshing view of hospitality. I was impressed by the eagerness of some students to learn about me and my way of life, I was astonished by their cleverness, and even more amazed that they brought me gifts. Gifts; from children for a foreign man, gifts from people that eating at McDonalds was considered a luxury. Warm hearts, fiery passions, determination, and yes even a few tears were shown to me.
All music is made up of notes; the type of music is created by the timing and the placing of those notes. Rearrange the notes, vary the timing and you produce a new song. All women have their qualities; I just happen to like the song that is the-- Russian woman.

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 Re: Un-Solicited Advice to the Men

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Author: Olesya  (---.NNovgorod.dial.rol.ru)
Date:   05-28-07 14:22

Paul MelLen, if you want to know what is CHMO read attentively Joe's posters and you will understand, maybe... because Joe is CHMO.

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 Re: Un-Solicited Advice to the Men

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Author: Olesya  (---.NNovgorod.dial.rol.ru)
Date:   05-28-07 15:17

Marina, read attentive Joe's poster! He did not cross the ocean for a big love, but for pleasure. I don't think it is hard to cross the ocean by plane, maybe you mean that he swam across the ocean for a big love of Russian women, sorry for that,I didn't get you...

But I see from his posters that he visited my country for sexuals adventures, not more. He wanted cheat on girls in my country and he really did it! I hate such kind of people and such kind of people must be putted into prison, because he outraged. Cheaters are outlaw as you know. And if you read more attentive his poster, you will see that he got to know girls knowing beforehand that it was just an adventure, sexual adventure, not more! He betrayed their trust and offended them deeply. Russian women are not toys!
Besides, if you think Marina, that I have to be more polite with the man who wants only sex from Russian women and we are only exotic for him, not more, please invite somebody for yourself from the ocean only for making sex... Do you like it? Man will come to see you only for a couple of nights and next day he will go to another womam, BUT he is from the ocean... Poor Joe, he is too tired... he needs some adventures after swimming across the ocean.
As for the men in this site... WHERE ARE YOU??? Why you like to write about russian scammers and blame russian women for scamming but when one of the representatives of you, (Joe from USA) you don't blame him in cheating on women. WHY?
So we can't cheat on you, we can't scam, we must be very honest, patient, polite with good manners and so on... you look closely to every girl thinking that maybe she is a scammer... BUT WHAT ABOUT YOU? Where is your righteous anger when men cheater on us, Where is your anger when one of you offenfing our fellings and our rights??? No one of that "JUST" men who like speaking about bad russian girls and scammers stick up for Russian girls. All of you keep silence... because
Men like to speak about honesty and justice but only with respect to themselves, You can do everything with us, cheating on us, blaming us in scaming, offending us and so on... but we must be polite and patient....
Great!
Long Live One -side justice!
:)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

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 Re: Un-Solicited Advice to the Men

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Author: Sveta  (---.range81-152.btcentralplus.com)
Date:   05-28-07 17:16

I agree with Olesya about Joe.
I just want to add that Joe named girls bitches , because perhaps those girls didn't allow Joe to use them and those girls tried to use Joe.Such clever boy just found more clever girls than he

I would like to ask all honest men here- what do you think about Joe and his relations for women from Ukraine and Russia?

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 Re: Un-Solicited Advice to the Men

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Author: Marina  (---.dyn.optonline.net)
Date:   05-30-07 04:08

I just wanted to remind that searching for a match is a HARD WORK, and in many ways it is good when people want to share their experience with others, that’s why we have this Forum.

Besides, I believe that such a concept as decent behavior exists in any society, and no explanation is needed to add.

And Paul, you are not alone :) ; girls, please, what CHMO stands for?

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 Re: Un-Solicited Advice to the Men

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Author: Sveta  (---.range81-152.btcentralplus.com)
Date:   05-30-07 12:26

Marina, Chmo- it is sleng, just a word, which you can use to name a person,who you don't respect,who you neglect

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 Re: Un-Solicited Advice to the Men

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Author: Sweety  (---.ttn.ru)
Date:   05-30-07 22:56

Read this "advise" and recognise typical sex-tourist.
How many girl's dreams/hearts,souls,beleifs etc/ these "joes" ruined.
From tears to suicide attempts....
Unfortunately,this is the truth.

And how long these advisers will come to our countries and treat humans like things in cheap shop?!92-3 one after another...!!!???/

Thanks for showing your face.Hopefully,women will avoid touching this dirt.

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 Re: Un-Solicited Advice to the Men

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Author: Marina  (---.dyn.optonline.net)
Date:   05-31-07 07:51

Yes, Sveta, I understand the meaning from the context, but still don’t get what this abbreviation stands for.

Dear girls, I just want to explain why Joe’s advice doesn’t cause my keen reaction.

I have been dating a lot for a long time, and I know how much difficult it is sometimes to find time for meeting a man not even from different country but different state. We are always in a rush, we never have time, and we plan our vacation at least 6 months in advance. That’s why I try to display understanding when a man, driving on a weekend 3-4 hours from different state, says I am not the only one he wants to meet.

Of course it is not that pleasant to read Joe’s too calculating advice, but for me it is at least understandable. Once again, for me seeking a man is a hard work, akin to looking for a job or apartment in NY :). He wants to meet more than one girl? Why not? He wants to use agency? Fine! At least he may avoid being in trouble like one of my correspondent, who sent me this:
“…And I can say K. was really lucky, he only lost some time and money on his date with a Ukraine women, because I traveled to Odessa in the spring of 2004 and was robed by the women I was writing to by her friends and one of her friend was a Ukraine Police with the AK /47 pointing at me and demanding I turn over all my money to them “.
How do you like that?

My son is going to FSC in ten days to meet a girl he met over the Internet. She is only 18, but she doesn’t even conceal how much she wants to get him and come over, and of course it makes me worry, and I’m just begging him: “Andrew, please, use condom and… common sense :), I don’t want to be a grandma yet”.

See, how different may be girls and women in our country?

And one more thing I want to ask. I hope my English is good enough to understand it, but, guys, frankly, I don’t see any clue to consider Joe as a sex tourist, not even between the lines. Moreover, some of his statements are very close to my point of view, for example, such as “I could have been happily married many times but I am ashamed to say that I was just too picky and had too high of expectations” or “Be honest, tell them before you ever meet that you are coming to meet her and another girl. A realistic woman will understand if you are upfront and honest.” Even this one: “Dont give up! Good ones are out there for sure, dont let any bad experience change your opinion on this process.”
What is wrong about that? I can only guess that if he were just a sex tourist he would probably find a better place to share his experience…

Regarding bad words, of course it’s not nice to say them, but honestly, girls, don’t you use even stronger bad words on Russian site? Check for yourself…

Dear girls, Olesya, Sweety, I am sorry about your sad experience, and I can just wish you not to stick with it, learn, and move on. Don’t put too much hopes on photos, e-mails and talks on the phone; only face-to-face meeting may put everything on its right place. And try not to hate the men; we still need them :)

As for me, it seems like it easier to swim over the ocean than to find a man who will be able to break my own perfect plan :)

Thanks for your time.

P.S. Come on, guys, men, give us your point!

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