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 advice wanted, preferably from women from former Soviet Union

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Author: chris  (---.public.wayport.net)
Date:   09-26-12 05:13

Hi, I am new to this website. I have already found someone in Ukraine, and I was hoping to get a bit of advice, preferably from women from the former soviet union. So I will tell a bit of my story.

A few months ago, I met a woman from Ukraine on another site. After exchanging a few emails, we began to Skype every day for almost 3 months. So, I went to Ukraine, and we spent 10 days together. We had a great time together; although, nothing physical took place. We have always had no problems being honest with one another, and we talk about everything. So, I asked her about this while still there. She explained that since we had only really known one another for a few days, she was not ready for this as it would be dishonest to me about her feelings. This was all true, and I accepted this. We still had a few more days together, and each day we got closer. Probably should have tried to kiss her again, but decided to be a gentleman. Yes, now I am kicking myself for this. While at the airport waiting to return home, she asked me not to see anyone else. I agreed as did she. Finally it is time for me to go through security, and we hug and kiss, closed mouth.

As soon as I returned home, we began talking every day on skype again and spoke about when I should return. So, I have booked my flight to be there for three weeks at the end of December for her Christmas. The plan is for me to stay with her in her apartment some of the time, and the rest of the time staying with her family in her parents home in the countryside. All seems to be going well at this point; although, waiting to see her again sucks. Skype does not compare to real face time, but it is better than nothing. So almost every day we skype, and when we can not, we send emails.

So, last week she tells me that she needs to go to Russia to get a passport for her son since she is technically a citizen of Russia (information I already was aware of). Her other older son lives there with her ex-husbands mother, and that is where she will stay for 3 weeks while waiting on the passport. This seems odd to me, but I am unsure how passport application are done in Russia. Also, she tells me that her ex, who lives in another city and never sees her or the children, will be there and is picking her up from the train station. She has been there for about 4 days now, and we have not spoken on skype, only through emails. I had expected this due to privacy issues at her ex mother-in-laws home. In an email she told me that her ex-husband wanted to get back together, but she did not want that. She says that she thinks of me often and misses me.

Here is my problem. My current Ukrainian girlfriend (for lack of a better word) whom I have hardly even kissed has been spending the last 4 days with her ex-husband who wants her back. Maybe it is just a bit of jealousy, but this all seems odd. We have not Skyped once since she has been there, and normally we do this every day. Also, the emails from her seem to be every other day.
I am thinking that if she was really into me like she says, then she would find a way to talk to me or find the time to at least send me a short email every day.

So, I would love to hear some opinions about all this. I am thinking about emailing her about this, but I want to get a little advice first.

Thanks,
Chris

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 Re: advice wanted, preferably from women from former Soviet Union

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Author: Diana  (---.volia.net)
Date:   01-22-13 15:47

Well, I think Chris, you are over reacting for sure. She has 2 children and responsibilities and she just didn't talk to you for few days - its not like she didn't talk to you for few months. So stop your crazy suspicious behavior and insane assumptions cos they look just crazy to me.
Instead ask her, if there is anything you can do for her to help the passport procedure to happen quicker, so you can talk to her more often, instead. That would be smart of you and she would appreciate it. Also I do not understand why suddenly you have to stay at her place? Why cant you just rent an apartment and make her visit you, cos its just odd for any descent American guy to stay in her house or her parents house. My boyfriend, for example, who is from San Francisco - extremely good looking, muscular, tall 34 years old guy ( 3 years older then me), when I offered him to stay in a spare room of my apartment - told me that I might be insane to offer him things like that - he said - he will only agree to stay if he stay in my room with me, and he doesnt wanna make me feel uncomfortable in any way, so he will stay in the nice hotel and would be very happy if I stay with him, cos he wants me to have a good time and be happy and will not let me cook for him - cos thats too much to ask of me. And when we wanted to visit my parents who have really big house outside the city with lots of spare guestrooms - he also said its weird to stay at your parents place for a night and yes we will stay in hotel.

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 Re: advice wanted, preferably from women from former Soviet Union

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Author: Dina  (80.250.224.---)
Date:   01-29-13 19:47

Dear Chris, I understand very well what you feel when someone you love is pushing you to be jealous and suspect something god knows what. My supposition will be (as a Russian lady from Moscow) that she may be a bit afraid to communicate with her former husband. That is the reason why she doesn't want to take a risk of talking to you now. Her ex might be very unhappy in this case, and nobody knows how he behaves. Russian men are usually very self-assured, many of them rude and uncivilized. As I see it there is not yet any reason to mistrust her. I think you must rely on your intuition and feelings: if you feel you and her are real friends and feel close to one another - yes, it must be really so. That's what I think. Just wait, that's all, although it may be not easy now for you. Anyway, wait. Sincerely yours Dina

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