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Author: Anders (---.adsl.cybercity.dk)
Date: 11-30-07 22:10
I think we should have a real world story - maybe we all can learn something from it.
It is about me :)
No - it is not really happy, but I learned, and I think you also can learn from it.
I started on New Dating a long time ago - think mid 2005, because I had received an e-mail from a nice young russian woman on another dating site. She really wanted to visit me, and I should send here some money. So I googled some of her information, and it turned out "she" had tried the same on New Dating and were on the scammers list. I had not earlier been interested in Russian women, so I decided to take a look around.
Then on this forum, I started talking with a wonderfull girl - I thought it were nice talk, and had no intentions to move on to something serious at that time, but we kept our conversation going, and we started talking about meeting in Moscow - she is in Far East part of Russia, so it would have been easier for both of us. She would pay her own ticket she said, but later she asked me to pay, and then I said I thought it were not such a good idea. I started to like her a lot, so we continued our talks by e-mail, phone and online games.
I felt it were about time for me to get into a serious relationship, and I told her that since we were not going anywhere, I would go on a Singles holiday - it turned out there were 17 women and only 5 men on this trip and it were in autumn 2006. We still had our contact and when I were on Lanzerote, I wrote to Dasha that I started to think about christmas and so on - so she suggested I came to her hometown to celebrate christmas there. Well - not really christmas - they do not celebrate that in Russia, but I wanted something special to happen that christmas.
So - I went to visit Dasha, and we met in the airport and she looked very happy, and we spent nice time together the first day. On the plane, I met a canadian guy who had married another woman from the city, and he asked if I would pop the question, and brought the ring with me - then I started to feel the panic. I am bachalor - and every time things were starting to get to close to the final curtain, I found a way out - so I had my thoughts when we first met - Dasha and I.
Dasha turned out to be the finest and sweetest woman I ever met, and she is good looking, so I fell in love. I had to fight my thoughts and reactions and behave differently. So, we had good time, but not as much as I wanted (she also had to work). I had brought more gifts to Dasha, but I wanted to give them to her in special situations, so I went back to Denmark with some of the gifts. I will never forget one of the first gifts she got - we had lunch at her place (she lives with grand parents), and she jumped of joy and big big smile. I wanted all gifts to be like that, and not "just another gift". At the airport I gave her a heart that had belonged to my mom. She looked very happy when we said goodbye - I had to think about how to move on with Dasha - what did I want to do - I still had my doubts. We have very strict rules in Denmark for immigration, and I were not sure what to do.
On the way back to Denmark, I came to the conclusion to do what it takes, and tell Dasha about my decision. So I tried - but she had been very busy, and had some problems with her work. She told me things were to complicated - and maybe we should just be friends. I rear mirror I think it were payback for my behaviour earlier, but it really did hurt. But we continued, and talked about meeting in Moscow. So we decided to meet in Moscow in May, and I paid her ticket. Dasha had an old friend in Moscow, and she arranged that I got an appartment at a nice price. In return, Dasha had promised to help her friend, because she had some personal things to resolve. So the trip to Moscow ended to be my worst vacation ever - we only spend few hours together.
On the first night in Moscow, Dasha and I went out with her friend and her husbond to a restaurant / pool bar, and I took a present with me. I had a present for each day to her, so I just took one. It was a small beautiful wooden box I had bought in Poland to Dasha. It were empty, as it were a present I thought she would use for the jewels I gave to her. But Dasha opened the box with great exitement, and became very sad when it were empty. I had said I would proove my intentions - so maybe she had hoped it was a ring. I had a ring with me, but we spent only little time together, so there were no oppertunities - I think it is necessary to have a romantic moment, and I have found the perfect spot for proposal in Denmark. Again - due to lack of oppertunities, I almost went back to Denmark with the gifts, but on the last day, where we should go to the airport, I asked her to come a bit earlier - so she came with her friend, and I had arranged a table with all the gifts. I could see she did not feel goo, and in the Taxi she said it were the worst week ever for her - and for me it also were absolutly rock bottom - so Dasha wanted me to come to her city again. I were not happy about it - I have now been to Russia twice, and thought that we should meet in Denmark.
After that, we discussed about meeting in Denmark, but things went just more and more bad - think frustrations from my side also played a part, but Dasha just wanted to be friends, and also asked me to help her with different things. And the end today is, that I am still single - have a heartache that I try to cure - think it will happen in time, and I will meet another wonderfull woman. Often I hope things would have ended in different way, but I accept
But I learned a few things:
1) Be 100% cleared when you go and visit a woman abroad - it can be for fun, but then it must be clear that is what it is.
2) When oppertunities come - take them - some come twice, and maybe they even offer third (I should have gone to visit Dasha - I know)
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So - guys - remember that girls are real and have feelings, dreams and hopes like all others. I know there are scammers, but they are easy to discover.
And girls - remember, things are not always easy for the man. Immigration can give many worries - and you are not exactly open books to read. In long distance, all the guess work can kill all good intentions. Be more clear and open about your feelings.
Maybe I will come with more comments about this subject - comments are also welcome - I know I made mistakes, so feel free to spank me :)
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