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Author: Galahad (---.dyn.centurytel.net)
Date: 02-27-07 17:01
Going Dutch" is very common here in the states. It never used to be, but as women started to get better jobs and the feminist movement got started, many professional women were offended if a man tried to pay her way on a date. To her it was as if the man was saying that she could not make as much as he did or that he was flaunting his higher paying job. He was superior in some way. I am not saying that I agree with this, but during the 1980's it was very common.
I think the better way to handle it is to ask the lady if she prefers "Going Dutch" or would she allow him the honor of treating her. This way she is being given the option with out being offended either way. If she is of the belief that the man should pay for the date, she simply says "That would be very kind of you." If she believes that "Going Dutch" is more appropriate, she can say "It's sweet that you are offering to treat me, but I prefer to pay my own way." This way neither the man nor the woman feels like the decision is being made for them. It is a matter of respect for each other.
Now to travel abroad is very expensive either from the US to Russia, or the other way around. I have looked into this lately, and believe me, I was shocked at the total expense. If the one of them planed to make the trip, and their funds were low, they need to let the other one know. Simply tell the other party that "I have the money for the trip, but once I get there, I will not have much left to spend. Where can we go to have a good time and a nice evening with out spending a lot?" Or "Once I get there I will not have much money left, is there any way that you can help share the expense?" The key to this is to let the other party know the truth about what type of budget they are on for the trip and to agree on the places to go and the things to do and who will be paying for it before the trip is made. There should be no surprises.
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