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Articles
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Boundaries in Relationships
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Donna Bellafiore
http://www.new-dating.com
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Healthy and Unhealthy Boundaries in Relationships -- Some Examples
Healthy:
Feeling like your own person
Feeling responsible for your own happiness
Togetherness and separateness are balanced
Friendships exist outside of the relationship
Focuses on the best qualities of both people
Achieving intimacy without chemicals
Open, honest and assertive communication
Commitment to the partner
Respecting the differences in the partner
Accepting changes in the relationship
Asking honestly for what is wanted
Accepting endings
Unhealthy:
Feeling incomplete without your partner
Relying on your partner for your happiness
Too much or too little togetherness
Inability to establish and maintain friendships with others
Focuses on the worst qualities of the partners
Using alcohol/drugs to reduce inhibitions and achieve a false sense of intimacy
Game-playing, unwillingness to listen, manipulation
Jealousy, relationship addiction or lack of commitment
Blaming the partner for his or her own unique qualities
Feeling that the relationship should always be the same
Feeling unable to express what is wanted
Unable to let go
Learning to have healthy boundaries is an exciting adventure, an exercise in personal liberation. It means coming to know ourselves and increasing our awareness of what we stand for. It also means self-acceptance and knowing that we are OK as we are and worthy of the good things in life. When two people with healthy boundaries enter into a relationship, they encourage wholeness, independence and a zest for life in their partner. They know that trust is possible and that the normal expected difficulties found in all relationships can be worked on constructively. They can find true intimacy as whole, complete and equal people. The journey to a sense of healthy identity is not always easy but it need not be all that difficult. It often means letting go of some of our old misconceptions about the nature of the world. It means treating ourselves with respect and appreciating ourselves for what we really are. When we can do this for ourselves, we can take the same approach toward our partner and then the true happiness and love that our relationship deserves can become a reality.
As always, I am wishing you peace and serenity as you move forward!
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Donna Bellafiore
http://www.new-dating.com
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