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 GIVERS VS TAKERS

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Author: james  (---.hsd1.tn.comcast.net)
Date:   10-27-07 23:22

People can be catergorized into two groups: Givers and or Takers.
I believe that people male or female fall into one of these two groups in general. A giving personality loves unconditionally and its main characteristic is to do for others. I also believe that there truly are few truly giving personalities in total male or female. Giver personalities always seem to attract taker personalities. In the short run the relationship seems blissful, because the giver gives of themselves and feels they are sharing themselves and is being themselves. The taker enjoys others always doing things for them, and always enjoys receiving things, such as attention, gifts, money, compliments etc. I have talked to many people said they got divorced because they were a giver and their spouse was a taker. The taker eventually wears out the giver. The problem is there is about 85% Takers and about 15% Givers in this world. I have also talked to people that broke up from intimate relationships and their major reason was only one person in the relationship was giving. The extreme taker is a scammer, but there are plenty of people that are not scammers, but nonetheless have dominant taker personality traits. My point being examine your heart and decide who you truly are. If you are a giver seek a giver and if you are a taker seek a taker I promise you will be happier in the long run. I personally will only date givers, because I believe they are the best lovers out there. If a givers falls for another giver the relationship usually works. The people I know that are truly in love and that other people admire are examples of two truly giving personality finding the common bond of love. I do realize there has to be mutual attraction and yes physical attraction first, but with that chemistry the mind and the heart both fall in love.

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 Re: GIVERS VS TAKERS

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Author: Marina  (---.dyn.optonline.net)
Date:   10-28-07 07:10

Very dramatically written!
James, do you really believe you will be able to recognize WHO IS WHO??? If you know, could you teach me HOW TO? What about takers who sincerely believe they are givers? Who will be a judge?
Thank you

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 Re: GIVERS VS TAKERS

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Author: james  (---.hsd1.tn.comcast.net)
Date:   10-28-07 07:34

Marina, it is a lot easier than you think. The first thing is always to be yourself this part is easy as it is natural for a person. The second takes some skill. My friend taught me to trust , but verify. Listen closely with your mind to what is conveyed to through conversation. Some say listen to your gut, I say listen hard and long the truth always comes out if you listen with your mind. Ask yourself from what this person says are they loking out for my well being or theirs? The neat about being a giver is that you are totally capable of love and not only that your love will lead to happiness with the right person. It cannot fail because you know the time , energy and effort you will expend to make this person feel worthwhile, your limits are endless. Now , you have to really be cautious and careful who is worthy of your affection. Your mind and your heart both have to come to total agreement. if there are any doubts even slight spend your time before you expend your love. Also do you have any true guy friends that would your devil's advocate and help you test the sentiments of your suitor? I would be glad to be your friend in such a situation if need be. Think for just a moment just how important it is to make the right decision in love. It has to be the most important decision in your life, never guess in such a situation. There is not just one person in the world we can be hapy with for eternity, but there exists just a few is my belief. Therefore, be cautious, careful, but definatately persistent and you truly will find what your heart desires. Love totally exists and it does not make life perfect, but it does exceed the expectations that amy of us truthfully deserve, but when we find it we come better persons than we could ever imagine because God shines on our lives and we beacome a beacon for our fellowman.
JamesMarina wrote:

> Very dramatically written!
> James, do you really believe you will be able to recognize WHO
> IS WHO??? If you know, could you teach me HOW TO? What about
> takers who sincerely believe they are givers? Who will be a
> judge?
> Thank you

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 Re: GIVERS VS TAKERS

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Author: Marina  (---.dyn.optonline.net)
Date:   10-30-07 03:41

Hi James!
Your post looks true, although a little bookish (for me). Have you ever met pure givers and takers in real life? Usually people start a relationship as givers, but then… transform into takers…
Any way, thank you so much for your offer, it is greatly appreciated. Just please, don’t call it “devil’s advocate”, it sounds scary, remember, Robert De Niro, etc?...

Warmly,

Marina

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 Re: GIVERS VS TAKERS

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Author: james  (---.hsd1.tn.comcast.net)
Date:   11-04-07 06:09

Actually,I disagree people do not change. We just celebrated Halloween and I know you have seen people in disguises. Look there is dracula, boom look at the dark Angel, say hello to frankenstein, no actually it is John, Sandy and Brian. Ernest Hemmingway said'" Everyone has an internal crap detector." Now, Hemmingway was a drunk and or alcoholic, but we can still learn from a drunk when they speak the truth. Tomorrow, when you go to lunch in a resterant look and listen to the people at the tables. Listen careful to what they say and they look at whom they are adressing. Then ask your self are they full of bullshit or not. As I approach a relationship or a social setting i turn on my IBD and i listen carefully. Now you will see that you can detect bullshit. The next day go to a resterant and listen for truth. It is slightly harder to detect and cannot be heard that often. The takers never were givers, it was just a veil that can be seen through with a discerning eye. I do believe thugh some givers try to disguise themselves as takers just so others will not take advantage of them. Yes , there truly are genuine givers and eventhough they are not in great abundance they walk amongst us.
James

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