|There are no second chances at making a spectacular first impression. Those first few seconds of contact become a benchmark for every subsequent impression you make.
We are a world in a hurry, an accelerated pace keeps us competitive, instant assumptions often lead to immediate decisions to accept or reject a job, a deal, or even a potential lover. In romance many of us, especially anyone who has been around the block, take a WYSIWYG (what you see is what you get) approach.
Why second-guess the obvious? In just under ten seconds, enough time to read the first few lines of an email, glance at a profile or extend your hand and offer a friendly "hello," someone is forming a first and lasting impression of you. Is it a good one?
Your Email As A First Impression
Your first email is like the beginning of a cocktail party conversation. Introduce yourself appropriately. Listen as much as you talk. Show interest in the other person. Be confident, but also genuine. Make eye contact. Connect.
As with your profile, first emails should follow basic rules for presentation and content. Experiment and find a style that works for you. Use the subject line like a headline, proofread, be creative, positive and genuine. Avoid anything canned or trite. Pick-up lines don't work and you will rarely make a good first impression, or get a response using one. First emails should always be individually written and work best when conversational in style. Mention something about the recipient's profile. Where did you sense a connection? Ask a question or two and include some brief information about yourself. It's OK to flirt or tease a little, even during your first contact, but keep things light and friendly.
First Impressions In The Real World
If all goes well, your spectacular profile and carefully crafted emails will eventually lead to a first date in the real world. Although you may feel as though you already know each other, you have yet to become familiar with each other's physical presence, and that can take some getting used to. First face-to-face encounters can be awkward or even shocking, regardless of the positive feelings you already have for each other.
You make your best real-world first impression by being calmly and confidentially yourself. Try to enjoy the nervous energy you are feeling. Have fun. Remember to smile. People are perceived as more attractive when they are having a good time. Your date will form an immediate first (physical) impression of you, usually in under ten seconds, based on some combination of these attributes:
Inside Information On Positive And Negative Impressions
Several hundred single men and women attending dating and flirting classes were asked to list the attributes they find attractive and unattractive in a potential partner. Below is a list of the most frequent responses. Although many of these attributes may not be immediately apparent, most will show up sometime during a first date.
Attributes Leading To A Positive Impression:
sense of humor
Attributes Leading To A Negative Impression:
closed minded and judgmental
lack of manners
poor conversational ability
negative life attitude
lack of education
indecisive/without an opinion
lack of integrity
war stories from past relationships
whining and complaining
only interested in sex
power games and manipulation
There are no do-overs when it comes to first impressions, yet many of us fail to put our best foot forward during early romantic encounters. We want to be loved for who we are and are leery to "package" ourselves in any way. This is understandable, but not always realistic. Dating is a numbers game and, like it or not, dating occurs in a competitive environment. The next positive, first romantic impression you make may turn into life-long love--not a bad return on a relatively minor investment