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Asking for a Date

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David C. Pack
There is a correct way to ask for a dateand a variety of ways not to do this.

For instance, if you are organizing a group dateand pre-planning is importantthe opinion of others involved could be helpful. So often, teens want to do something together, but they gather and do nothing!usually ending up just hanging out. At the very least, nothing is accomplished, and this generally leads to trouble, which often is all that is accomplished.

Be sure to plan something before you go out. Dating is a constructive, mentally stimulating and fun activity when done properlyloitering around late-night convenience stores, malls, diners or in parking lots does not equate with beneficial group dating!

If you have progressed to one-on-one dating, how should you ask for a date? First, the man should initiate the request. Be organized and purposefulit should not happen by chance or be driven by convenience only.

The first few times a man asks for a date may involve some anxiety. But view it as an opportunity to grow in courage and leadership (characteristics sorely lacking in men today).

The Role of Religious Belief

The question of religious belief, and/or affiliation, plays an enormous role in determining whom you should date. In fact, it is the very starting point of whom you should even consider dating.

The general principle for those in Gods Church is to not spend a lot of time with those in the world (Jms. 4:4). Further, Amos 3:3 asks, Can two walk together except they be agreed? The answer is a resounding No! God states plainly, Be you not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship has righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion has light with darkness? (II Cor. 6:14). This passage offers no exceptions to the rule.

Christians must avoid every circumstance that involves extensive fellowship with those of different beliefs. This includes business partnerships, clubs and organizations involving fellowship agreementsand, obviously, this instruction is inseparable from the very personal activity of dating and courtship, which could, and generally will, quite literally, lead to being yoked togethermarried!to an unbeliever. Actually, one who has Gods Spiritwho has been baptized and convertedis prohibited from even dating one who does not. (Also note Romans 8:9 and 14.)

Those who are young, and beginning to group date, could, on rare occasion and under very special circumstances, go out with a group of wholesome, decent friends when it involves a school activity.

Let me repeat a previous point for emphasis to explain why you should be very careful here. There was once a time when people spoke of those who got in with the wrong crowd. There has always been a certain wrong crowd in every school, and in every society and every age. But things have radically changed, and not for the better. Again, today, the wrong crowd has generally become the only crowd. Clean, wholesome friends are very few and far between. If you have even one true friend, you are rare.

Understand! Your friendsgood or badwill influence you. Even the best of friends will have a completely different set of priorities than any who are striving to live Gods Way. Their thinking is in no way geared toward God or His Church. Therefore, be extremely cautious if you do choose to occasionally group date with those of different belief, and allow your parents to be the final arbiter of whether the exception you want to make is really an exception.

Again, if you choose to date those of different beliefs, they will influence you. Remember, your mind is already naturally hostile against God (Rom. 8:7). While they may not set out to purposely influence you, it will slowly happen with time. God realizesand this is why He gives His instructionthat you will eventually be pulled away from Him into disobeying His laws.

Ignoring II Corinthians 6:14, some point to I Corinthians 7:14For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holyand argue that this verse justifies Christians getting married to the unconverted.

This passage has nothing to do with dating or courting! The context is a believing husband or wife who was called into the truth after the couple were already married. In such cases, God made the decision to call only one marriage partner into His Church, and the automatic result was an unbelieving mate.

In all matters involving religious belief, be certain that you use great discretion. If you feel God may be calling a person into the truth, seek counsel with your parents or a minister before dating. However, be careful that you are not deceiving yourself into thinking that the person is about to join the Church. While this virtually never happens, many fall into this self-deception.

David C. Pack

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