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Approaching a Cheating Boyfriend or Girlfriend

Approaching a significant other with suspicions of cheating or infidelity can create a very delicate situation and be a very hurtful and confusing time for both partners.

It can be difficult to determine whether a spouse or significant other is in fact cheating. Often suspicions are groundless, drawn from misunderstandings or personal paranoia. In the event one is absolutely certain that his or her partner is cheating, it is important to stay calm and avoid sounding accusatory.

First, ask the partner if anything is wrong. Voice your concern over their questionable behavior and let them know that you want to know why they have been acting differently. This will help to open the lines of communication and can make the individual feel more comfortable, causing them to honestly address the situation. If the partner has not been cheating, this method will ensure that no problems or arguments will ensue. If the suspicious partner aggressively approaches the other partner with accusations or screaming and yelling, it can aggravate the situation. Sometimes, however, the accused will become defensive. It is important to remain calm and, if necessary, take a breather while both of you take control of your emotions.

If one has significant cause for suspicion, or perhaps even proof of infidelity, it might be better to address the cheater head-on. Still, remain calm and collected. Ask them if there is something that they haven't been honest about. It is crucial not to blow up or say too much in case there has truly been a misunderstanding and the partner has actually been faithful. If the cheatee has witnessed the cheater with his or her own eyes, a more assertive approach might be more appropriate. Tell them what you saw and how it makes you feel. Make sure to carefully think the situation through before confronting them in order to present a strong front, even if it is only a front. Dealing with a cheating partner can be very traumatic, confusing and painful.

Keep in mind that your mate is the one in the wrong. Do not let the tables be turned and do not hesitate to move on from a relationship because of infidelity. Though it is said that cheaters will always be cheaters, some people make honest mistakes. It is up to the you to decide whether or not you'll ever be able to trust your partner again. You might consider professional counseling or talking to family, friends or other loved ones for guidance and support.


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