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Articles
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Body Language
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Body Language First Date
If you really enjoy meeting people but tend to get nervous in social settings, there are a few things you can do to improve your situation. Above all, you must generate a positive attitude about it. If you think of socializing as stressful and difficult, others will sense that and be reluctant to approach you. Transmit confidence with positive body language and facial expressions. Stand up straight-don’t slouch. Make brief eye contact (not a blatant stare) instead of turning away or looking at the floor. If you get nervous, encourage contact and conversation by carrying a prop such as a book or magazine or an eye-catching accessory. Such an item will give others with common interests a reason to come over and talk to you.
Nervous people tend to sag their shoulders, lock their arms tightly around their bodies, stand rigidly, and stare at the ground or dart their eyes around. Confident people have an open stance, make eye contact, and lean toward the person they’re talking to. If close enough, they often show interest by lightly brushing your arm or shoulder to make a point.
Another way to be approachable, even if your heart is pounding with anxiety, is just to breathe deeply and smile. It’s hard to feel negative when there’s a smile on your face. The smile is a universal symbol of friendship and it draws people to you. Smile often and (as the old song says) the whole world will smile with you!
Body language can turn people away but it can also invites them to approach you. Some “do’s” and “don’ts”.
Don’ts:
Lack of eye contact
Continual throat-clearing
Covering mouth with hands
Tugging at clothes
Jingling things in pockets
Fidgeting with accessories or clothes
Hand-wringing
Frowning or grimacing
Stepping backward or away
Do’s
Steady eye contact
Smiling
Leaning toward a person
Sitting on the edge of a chair
Periodic hand-to-face gestures
Moistening or licking lips
Watching someone else’s mouth as he talks
Arms at sides, as opposed to crossed
Brief physical contact (nonsexual)
Pointing arms, legs, or feet or all of the body toward a person
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