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The First Date

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Andrea Kon
He buys her flowers - a great greeting point but don't make the bunch too pretentious or you could frighten her off.

Listen, don't talk. If you've just met a new potential partner, be prepared to listen to what they have to say. Discuss films, books, politics. Drop children, sex and ex-partners. Slagging off a former partner or criticising your last cyber-date will only make your current date suspicious of what you might have to say about them. Don't foul up a first date by spending the entire time bemoaning your lot. Positive people are so much more fun to be with.

Admire, don't suggest. If he thinks she looks great he should say so. She might just love his tie. Offer compliments. Don't suggest that next time she ought to wear red, or ask her shoe size and send her pictures of the shoes you'd like to buy her for your next date. I know of one woman who received a text picture of shoes he fancied. They never dated again.

Look, don't touch. Putting an unwelcome hand across the table with a new date could be as useful as saying goodbye before you've had time to say hello.

Flirt, don't go for a first time fling. Need glasses to read the menu? No need to fret. They're one of the all time greatest flirting tools. Twiddle them, twirl them. Use your hands to illustrate a point. If you don't wear glasses, you could use a pen. Or even your napkin. But don't put a hand in the small of her back to guide her, until you are sure it's welcome. Don't reach for his hand until you can be sure that it will be happy clutching yours across the road. Treat one another like royalty at the start of your cyber relationship, and you might just be looking at a 'happy ever after' ending to your fairy tale.

Andrea Kon

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