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Communication in Relations

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Tim Blackstock
Effective communication is essential to the strength and longevity of your relationship. Almost everyone knows this, but does every one know how to apply it? What exactly do you have to communicate to your lover? Here are some tips on how to open up and strengthen the lines of communication in a romantic relationship:

Give importance to openness. The foundation of effective communication with your lover is that you are always honest and open. Don't be afraid to express your feelings, whether they are positive or negative. Also, feel free to share your ideas no matter how silly or ridiculous you think they are. Being open to each other is the first step to truly loving each other, especially because openness means that there's a fair amount of trust in the relationship.

Every time you feel a fight coming on, ask yourself "Is this important?" Nothing's worse than hours of shouting insults and harsh words at each other. Although both of you could just be caught up in the moment, the words you utter in these moments of anger will be remembered forever. So before a small argument grows into a full-blown fight, ask yourself first whether the argument is important enough to risk losing the relationship. Usually, it's not. After all, even if you "win" an argument, you know that no one truly wins in these situations.

It helps to talk with your lover daily about your everyday life. Even the little things count. Whether they're funny, silly, touching, mundane, or annoying, anything that happens you will allow you to connect more deeply with your lover. You should also encourage your lover to talk to you about their day. Sharing these details is one of the ways in which you can share each other's life. They may seem unimportant and irrelevant, but discussing these little things will encourage you to communicate about the bigger, more important things.

Talking about your problems is always healthy. Whether it's your personal problems or the problems in your relationship, talking about them is a way of getting things out in the open. For personal problems, it's a way of reaching out and getting support. Your relationship will be much deeper if you go through the bad things as well as you go through the good things. If you're having trouble discussing relationship problems, get a mediator or a counselor to help you verbalize your thoughts without getting hostile.

Listening is also an important aspect of communication. It's not really communication if only one person is talking. Make sure that you give your partner the time and opportunity to talk to you. Pay attention to the non-verbal signals that they give off as well. Does he or she look tired? Has your lover been hinting about spending more time with you? Paying attention to what your partner says and what your partner shows you is the key to being an effective listener and a treasured lover.

Tim Blackstock

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