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Anais Nin
How would you rate your self-awareness in general? What about your relationship self-awareness? Are they the same, perhaps similar; or do you see these two areas as distinct from one another? Questioning yourself can help raise your self-awareness. However, the questions you ask need to be deeper and more meaningful then the ones you would use as a measure of how you appear to others. These more thoughtful questions will help you to probe the center of who you really are. Without knowing this you can't learn to accept and love the person inside. This is essential for all change to take place. Otherwise you become stuck in beliefs and behaviors that determine the outcomes in your life.

So, what are meaningful questions? For starters; they are always the harder ones that lead you to look closely in the mirror for all your features, good and bad. In compiling a list for yourself; it may be helpful to break questions into categories. As an example, you could begin with career, social, intimate relationships, spiritual and financial. If you would like to add or subtract from the list, do so. Be creative and let your mind play with all possibilities.

Now begin to develop your questions. Start with the simple ones first and move to the deeper and more difficult ones to answer. The following are examples of questions you may "want to try on".


Do I like what I do?

Do I feel as if I am being challenged to my ability?

Am I doing THIS because I believe I am incapable of doing what I really want?

Is there a problem with my attitude about working that gets in my way?

Am I realistic about my work goals?


Do I have an adequate social support system?

Is there a piece missing for me socially?

Do I enjoy my friends or are they people I socialize with because I can't meet the kind of people I would like to?

Am I lonely?

Am I a GOOD friend to others?

Intimate Relationships:

Am I satisfied with the men/women I date?

Am I meeting the kind pf person I would like to connect with?

Do I exhibit attitudes or behaviors that prevent me from meeting and dating appropriate people?

Do I really want to be in a long-term committed relationship?

How would I feel if I never met "the right one"?


Do I believe in God or a higher power?

Is this an important aspect of my life?

Do I believe that my potential mate must share my beliefs in this area?


Do I earn an adequate amount of money to satisfy my basic needs/wants?

How important to my happiness is money?

Will the earning power of my potential mate be very important in my decision about who that person will be?

As you can see from this list of questions; your general self-awareness flows over into ALL aspects of your life. Therefore, knowing yourself impacts every part of your being.

I encourage you to ask yourself these questions, add new ones to the list, and keep probing until you have explored the deepest parts of who you are and where you want to go.

Anais Nin

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