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Dangerous Behaviors

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Dangerous Relationship Behaviors: Snooping

If Ive told myself once, Ive told myself a million times: dont snoop. Dont do it. Nothing good can come from it blah blah blah. This is what I tell myself. And it works, ya know, sometimes. But damn, its tempting. Heres the thing: whether its checking your partners email or voicemail or text messages (or real postal mail, if that still exists), youre doing yourself a huge disservice.

Why, you ask? I mean, it does seem somewhat logical: you think your sweetie is keeping something from you, or lying about getting down and dirty with his ex, so you put on your super sleuth hat to go find out whats what. Or maybe you dont really think he or she is up to anything terrible, but the option is there and curiosity has you tightly in its evil little grasp. We all get weak.

The problem is this: lets say you find out something incriminating in your snoop-capades. What can you really do with that information? If its bad enough to where you know youre going to dump his/her sorry ass anyway, then I suppose you dont really care that theyll be angry about the breach of privacy.

But I think more often than not, when we find out something that we want to confront our significant other about, the idea is to get it out in the open, work it out together and move forward. If you come to them with this illegally-obtained information, you are immediately put in the defensive position because obviously, the first thing they will do is turn your anger right around on you and get upset that you were a sneaky snoop. And thats pretty valid. Its truly a no-win situation.

So what to do instead? Ah, thats a very old question and one that still doesnt have a great answer. The only thing I can say is if youve tried some straight talk with your honey and still cant believe that what theyre saying is the truest truth, then the real issue isnt how youre going to find out what you need to know, its why youre staying in a relationship where communication and trust are clearly big problems.

Bottom line: if you think you have to resort to invading your loved ones privacy to get information that they should be telling you themselves, you might want to reevaluate the health of your partnership.

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