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Relationship Rules To Break

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Jessi Bee
Im not a fan of rules (says the totally typical 20-something sitting in a hip coffee shop, drinking tea and writing on her laptop). What Im even less a fan of are rules involving escapades of the emotions. Affairs of the heart. The lore of the loins.

Ive found, through my wanderings as the Zen (oops, Pen) Master of Love and Sexin and Thangs that most of the single world-at-large is quite preoccupied with the dos and donts of gettin down and dirty, gettin couple-y and cozy, gettin hitched and poppin out baby friends. So many rules, guidelines and general cop-outs!


I say (despite many articles Ive written to the contrary) that we put a permanent ban on the rules of the relationship road. Want to sleep with your besties husband? Well, cool, as long as you are real with yourself about what youre doing to yourself, to others, and what youre going to get out of it.

I personally think thats a pretty icky thing to do to a pal, but hey, the point is, who am I to tell you how to sleep at night? If you want to something terrible, let your conscience stop you, or love for your friend, not some antiquated love proverb.

All that said, there are definitely a few perceived rules that you absolutely should tear a hole through and put through a shredder;

Breaking out of the Friend Zone

The Friend Zone is one of the biggest crocks of s**t ever concocted by frustrated singles to complain about why theyre still single. Okay, lets think about this: you have a friend of the desirable gender and theyre, ya know, a real pal. They listen to you bitch about your failed endeavors in romance, are a blast to go out with, dont judge you for loving Kelly Clarkston and will always tell you the truth about whether or not those pants make you look fat.

If you discover (or maybe have always known) that, in addition to all these sparkling qualities, youre also attracted to them physically, then what the hell? Go for it! Because guess what? You might lose this friend anyways. Things happen. Friends break up just like lovers do. So that excuse doesnt hold water.

We have no right to whine about not being able to find suitable suitors when were throwing away the good ones right and left based on the role they already play in our lives. So ignore the fear (hint: being afraid means youre emotionally invested. Thats a good thing) and go for it. Theres never any sense in depriving yourself of the chance to be in love. Because friendship is cool and all but love freaking rules.

Moving across the globe on a whim

Picture this scenario if you will: you meet a glorious new lover and in a breath and an orgasm, youre swept off your feet. But alas! He or she is jetting off to their fabulous home in Sweden/Italy/Peru/wherever? Heres the deal: if they show no signs of being a psycho and you are in a position in your life where you actually can pick up and go (Im thinking the big ones: no kids, no ailing family members), do it. Dont think.

Life is too short to not take adventurous risks sometimes. If you arent in love with your job, quit that joint, immediately. Youll find another job. Whats the worst that could happen? Even if it falls to pieces, youll have a whirlwind love affair, a new stamp in your passport and a win of a story to tell for the rest of your life. You can pick up the rest of the pieces.

Sex on a first date

This is an easy one: if the chemistry is there, go where your soaring hormones take you. I hate seeing people reel in their natural impulses and starving themselves of the moments that make us want to live forever, all out of some sense of propriety that we neither created nor that were being forced to abide by. Be safe, have fun. Rinse and repeat.
Jessi Bee

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