Presenting Yourself Well
|1. Look the part. Even though it is said that nobody should judge a book by its cover, first impressions count enormously when people don't know one another yet. It is always in your favor to look your best.
In those first moments, you will be sized up and categorized depending on what you're wearing, how much you've groomed yourself and whether you've cleaned your shoes, no matter how much you may resent this reality! To help yourself meet women, stay well groomed and dress stylishly, according to your own tastes.
When looking to meet someone, wear clothes that represent you. They should be in good condition, pressed if needed (obviously not all clothing needs pressing, so use your instincts), free of holes and without stains.
Keep your hair in good shape. Take time in the morning to style your hair, shave, and get a haircut every 8 weeks.
Leave the grungy workshop or gardening clothes at home. Unclean, messy clothing reduces your confidence and doesn't help you to stand out. Grungy clothing on either sex tells the world, "I'm not interested at the moment, thanks."
Go easy on the cologne. She shouldn't be able to smell you from across the room.
2. Act the part. Be the type of man a woman would want. Take small opportunities to show her you're a gentleman. Then, of course, follow up with casual conversation.If you see a woman with her hands full, offer to help! A courteous stranger will be sure to pique her interest.
Any situation can be an opportunity to converse. Explain a bus schedule, inform her of a better value down the street, or offer her spare change when she's fumbling through her purse. Don't expect anything in return, however; allow her to reciprocate.
1 Look approachable. Meeting people is helped by appearing open and willing to be approached. This includes using open body language, smiling and presenting a broadly positive demeanor.As well as good grooming, your body language has a big impact on whether or not someone feels able to approach you. Moreover, the tone, speed and volume of your voice has an impact too.
Look and act confident. Self-doubt is noticeable by other people; prepare yourself mentally to be confident and fake it if need be!
Stay positive––nobody wants to hear a litany of woes the first time they meet you. Even if life is treating you unkindly at the moment, don't pass this on to her when you first meet.
2. Look at women's faces, not their chests. She may be stunning, but she won't stay near you if all you can do is stare at her breasts. Focus on her as a person; take in her face and truly listen to what she is saying. Maintain good eye contact without staring her out.Remember her name. Use her name when talking to her--she'll feel subconsciously more at ease with you.
Value the place of small talk. It may be tiny, but it's a safe approach for getting to know one another better. Moreover, it's not what you say at this stage but how you say it: with warmth, friendliness and interest.
3. Stay relaxed. Everyone is nervous when meeting someone new and wanting more than just a mere handshake from them. But it's important to settle your anxiety as much as possible by reminding yourself that you're worthy.Avoid seeing the meeting as an audition. This causes you to put yourself on show and to treat her as being on show too. This can only end badly when things don't go according to script. Instead, relax into yourself and treat this as a fun opportunity to get to know someone without worrying about where it may or may not lead.
If you think you're good enough for the woman in question, she'll sense this and reciprocate your confident stance. If you act unworthy, you risk being treated as such. Attract the response you want by being confident and engaged in the moment.
4. Make a connection. Try and find out what this woman really loves in the world, and let her tell you all of the things she loves about it. Then, tell her you feel just the same way about some things, but don't overdo it; it's important to show that you're well rounded by gently disagreeing with her opinions on a few non-controversial things.For instance, "Yeah, I really like Van Gogh too, but Monet is much too simplistic." That way, she'll know you're not just saying "yes" all the time to make her like you but that you are willing to converse intelligently.
Do not tell too much information about yourself at first contact; it can make you look too desperate to get a sweetheart and too social to her liking. Act like a lonely, working man with a capable mind.
Women are incredibly sensitive to "personal bubbles." Be sure not to crowd her--a good distance is about three feet. Instead of the chair next to her, choose the one across. If she leans in, bingo.
5.Know when to end the conversation. Going on for too long can make you seem desperate or even scheming. When this woman is someone you'd really like to see again, say something like, "You know, I would love to hear more but I have to get back to work now. Tell me all about it over salsa dancing on Tuesday." Always leave the conversation to be continued. Do not exhaust the conversation as things can turn awkward and she may lose interest.Do not allow her to end the conversation or date; if she wants to quit, stall the ending by thinking of a few things to say and then end the meeting. She will now hang around longer at the place; if you have the chance, return. Then ask for her telephone number.
Of course, as with everything, there are exceptions. If you feel that whammy of chemistry connecting the two of you and you go on to talk all night and into the next day, let the flow take you where it will. Sometimes, this is what happens--with no rhyme or reason.
Dealing with Rejection
1. Understand that rejection is part of the dating deal. Some women won't be interested because they don't feel the spark or the click. Respect that––it's far better to have honesty up front than to insist on a meeting of minds and bodies that is never going to be nicely compatible but is forced and uncaring. Rather than taking rejection personally, realize that this is an important step in finding the right woman amid a sea of women who aren't your perfect match.Sometimes you'll be rejected because it's not the right time in her life to be committing to a relationship. Perhaps she's going through a messy divorce, perhaps a big career move is on her radar or perhaps she just needs time to heal after a bad relationship. If she is really worth it, give her wide berth while remaining friendly and just be patient. Otherwise, wish her the best of luck and keep looking.
2.Listen to your gut instinct. Rejection doesn't mean there is something wrong with you as a person. However, if you experience repeated rejections, you may want to address your grooming, your mannerisms with women, or even your whole approach. It could be that you're doing something wrong and that's always easy to fix.
Never assume that good looking women are unapproachable. These women have the same needs and desires as anyone else. Never judge someone by just how they look.
If you have a dog, use that to your advantage. Go for walks with your dog, join dog lover meetup groups.
Read books on dating and meeting women, such as "The Game" by Neil Strauss. Also consider reading "How to Win Friends and Influence People," by Dale Carnegie. It will give you invaluable advice on dealing with people in general. You don't have to believe everything you read, but you may pick up some useful tips.
Be patient. It can take time to make the right connection with the right woman.
Borrow your cute niece or nephew and take them out to the store or mall. Women love a man who is looking after an adorable small child! Most women will smile and open up. This is your cue to start a conversation, quickly making it clear that you're with your niece/nephew in the first sentence.
Work on your career. As your success grows, so will your dating pool.
Stay focused and organize your conversation mentally. Be assertive and remember what you're there to do. Women want to know that you can talk well, make up your own sentences, and be friendly with other men. They want to see that you are assertive without being mean, pushy or unfriendly.
If you have an iPhone, BlackBerry, or other smart phone, consider downloading an ice breaker application.
Do not over analyze the situation. Just make eye contact, smile, say hello, and start an innocent conversation with her just like you would with your guy friends. Do not succumb to "paralysis by analysis."
Don't come on too strong. Have a keen sense of whether or not she's interested. Look for signs. If she ever touches your arm, holds your hand, flits her eyes, or laughs at your jokes, you are in. Do not try too hard (like making an hour's long list of topics to say); just give the basics she wants to know: your age, what you are doing for a living or education, where you are from, your personal motives with her, and if you have children. A new person in her life can be a daunting challenge; give her time to get used to you. Show that you can organize your thoughts for a conversation and are able to make your own proper sentences.
Don't ever try to "fit in" or look like the other guys at a party.
Do not use cheesy pickup techniques like having the bartender or waitress bring a drink over to her. You've got to play it cool and that sort of movie-style behavior does not work in real life. Respect the smarts of women as much as you respect your own.
Be wary of saying, "You're cute." This may or may not be an indication of interest. Also, if a woman asks you to dance, she could just looking for someone to dance with. If she pulls you off the dance floor to talk, you are in. If she ever tells you, "I'll be right back," give up on this one if she isn't back in 5 minutes.