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Melissa Balmer
Its so easy to get stuck in a rut, isnt it? Without even realizing it we can slip into patterns of behavior that trap us in particular way of being, or a particular way of doing things so that we go about our day to day life as if we had blinders on, ignorant of new approaches and new ideas to make our lives more interesting and enjoyable. Is this you?

How long has it been since you tried something new? How long has it been since you donned a new hairstyle, dressed completely out of character for a night out on the town, or got up the nerve to try a new way of meeting single men? If you cant remember, its been too long. Even if you can remember its probably been too long because youre here reading this.

My advice? Shake it up. The Holiday Season is the perfect time. What style, club, event, trip etc. have you longed to try but have put on the back burner of your life for so long youve nearly forgotten about it? Somewhere theres another aspect of your personality just dying to get out and stir things up. I hereby give you permission to dig it out and give it a whirl. Theres no time like the present to present a new you.

And Im not just saying this to be your self help advocate. There are very practical reasons to trying something new especially when youre looking to heat up your love life. Trying out something new, a new hair cut, a new way of dressing, dancing at a difference sort of club, going on a ski trip etc. is the perfect way to open yourself up to meeting men youd never get to know otherwise. Trying out a new you attracts a new sort of men, and you may find that these new men are the very sort youve been hoping to meet for quite some time.

A couple of years ago Marie Claire magazine ran an article that highlighted this very subject. They had an attractive woman, but not someone who stopped traffic or dressed in an overtly sexual manner, go to a very popular bar with the specific idea of meeting men who would then give feedback about what they thought of her. The twist in the story was that at certain points in the evening she went to the ladies room and completely changed her outfit. Guess what? Each time she changed she attracted different types of men and none of the men recognized her from before!

Let me be very clear here. Im not suggesting that everyone go out and dress more provocatively, what Im suggesting is that you try something new. Try a new hair color, cut, or even buy a wig! If youre always into the latest trend try something classic or vintage. If you only stick to basics try something totally frivolous an of the moment.

Are you the type who wears sexy low cut tops and mini skirts and youre tired of getting those cocky jerks that move in fast and then wont stop talking about themselves? Why not try a more classic way of dressing and take a trip with some girlfriends to a more upscale but less trendy nightclub to see whom you meet? You might be delighted with the men you meet when youre wearing a more tailored and conservative (but elegant and alluring) ensemble.

So what if youre the shy Wall Flower type? Its time to give yourself some pizzazz so you can get in the game. A Holiday party among some of your co-workers or friends is the perfect place to try out a new you. If you dress in neutrals try some strong beautiful color! Are you everyones Girl Friday? Are you capable, reliable, ready to solve any crises from the computer crashing to the oil needing to be changed? Are you always in jeans? Surprise everyone (and delightfully shock the men) by putting on a beautiful dress or skirt! Youll be surprised at how the men will sit up and take notice of you when you dress like a girl. Maybe a little attention and some compliments are exactly what you need right now.

Buy maybe how you put yourself together fashion-wise isnt the problem, maybe its that you need to get out and meet new people and see some new scenery. Lets face it; as much as we love our family and friends, familiarity can breed contempt if we keep with the same old tired routines and conversations. Why not take a short car trip or train trip all by yourself to someplace beautiful, or cultural? Yes, obviously you want to take precautions when traveling alone, but it is one of the very best ways to break yourself out of your rut and look at the world with fresh new eyes.

And really, thats the secret here. The most important thing is that you give yourself a chance to try new things, be different, exercise all the various aspects of your personality, your interests, and yes even your intellect. You may not like whatever the new thing is that you try, but at least now youll know. You wont be left wondering, filled with regret over lost opportunities.

The fantastic thing is that we can never really run out of new things to try. The world is full of places and concepts and cuisine that most of us have never even heard of. There will always be new fashions to wear, new books to read, new ideas to contemplate and the Internet brings them to you just with the typing of a few keys!

Who would you like to be this Holiday Season? Where would you like to go, what would you like to try out? Its all out there waiting for you. Just give yourself permission to try!

Melissa Balmer

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