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Susie and Otto Collins
Recently, a friend asked us what we do to create the deep, connected relationship that we have.

As we thought about this question, several things came to mind. One of the things we'll share in this article is how important we feel creating "ease and flow" has been to us in creating our relationship.

One of our favorite quotes is by Fritz Perls who said, "Don't push the river. It flows by itself." This is the way it is in relationships that have ease and flow. There's very little struggle and pushing against each other. That's not to say that we haven't "pushed" against each other or had challenges.

When challenges have come up, our commitment has been to tackle the issues as soon as possible so we can regain and keep the feeling of "ease and flow" that is so important to us.

This idea of ease and flow works for all relationships.

Otto has a relationship with a friend that he characterizes as having a great deal of ease and flow. Otto and his friend recognize and honor the differences between them. They don't try to "fix" each other. They help each other when they need it and they allow their relationship to be what it is. As a result of their intentions for this relationship, there is an ease and flow between them.

Whether it's a relationship between two friends or intimate partners, we've determined that having ease and flow in the relationship is one of the important characteristics if you want to build a deep, connected relationship.

Here are some suggestions that we've used in our relationship and other relationships to create more ease and flow:

1. Appreciate and honor the other's differences.

2. Set your intention to create more ease and flow in your relationship.

3. Don't try to make the relationship into something that it isn't. Let the relationship be what it is.

4. Let go of the need to be right.

5. Don't try to change the other person -- they have to want to change themselves.

6. Learn to be confident of who you are in your own skin.

This week, set it as your intention to create the feeling of ease and flow in your relationships. Start applying some of these ideas that we've shared in this article and watch as your relationships also begin to experience more ease and flow.

Susie and Otto Collins

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