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Youve spotted her sitting alone at the bar but now what? You need to approach her and try to make a start at a conversation. You need to think from a womans point of view. You are a complete stranger to her so far. The first contact needs to be a good one to catch her attention. The best way to do this is to choose a particular aspect of the woman that you find attractive. Is it her dress, her hair style, some unusual jewelry, a purse? As long as you dont get too personal by mentioning the lovely shape of her rear end, you will capture her attention. She will think, Imagine him noticing that!.



In this new and delicate situation your goal is to set up a successful communication. This means finding a balance between the more aggressive approach and the passive approach. The overly aggressive man will jump in, usually talk too much about himself and try to impress her immediately. If you take a close look at the woman you are speaking to in this manner, you will notice she has started to look away, around the bar, at other people, her drink. You are losing her already. Back up and bring her into the conversation.



The passive man sits down and says nothing for a while. This is wasting precious time. This man is almost apologetic for his existence. Is it any surprise that the woman gets up and leaves? If you feel shy and invisible, you are shy and invisible. Whatever it takes, you need to pull yourself up and simple dive in. You need to say something and again the best start is to focus on her attributes. This will help to take your mind off of yourself. File your self-consciousness away for as long as you can.



The woman sitting across from you is looking for all kinds of signals. In other words, there is a lot of non-verbal communication going on. The more aware you are of this process, the more likely that you can avoid repeating old mistakes. Familiarize yourself with all the non-verbal methods of communication. Be aware of how you are using these techniques. These non-verbals include the use of eye contact. This cannot be emphasized enough. Smiling is not just a cleche. Everyone enjoys a smile. Take note of your body language and dont overdo it. No touching unless its a handshake. Dont sit with your arms and legs crossed. You appear tense and unlikely to share anything.



Talk about things that involve her. For example, ask her about her job or her family and friends. After she has shared some of this with you, you can throw out a little bit of information about you. This shows a two way communication. It may sound a little bit simplistic but it is amazing how quickly a conversation can turn sour when it becomes lop-sided to either yourself or herself.



So get out there and have a chat. A little thought about your approach ahead of time will bring you many more happy endings.
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