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Ruth D. Kerce
In the media, all of us have often heard the relationship experts and psychologists say, if you have a great need for love from another person (especially the opposite sex), then something must be lacking in yourself. According to many of them, if you're happy with who you are, then you won't always be seeking love from an outside source.

Truth or a misconception? Well ... read on, and then you decide.

It is a basic human desire to seek out love. If it weren't, most of us would live as hermits. Humans are social creatures. When we're younger, we yearn for friends and acceptance. As we grow older, we yearn to find that special someone to share our lives with, for companionship, emotional support (not as a crutch), maybe even to start our own families.

When is this desire wrong, and when is it right?

Certainly if we are searching for love in order to solve all of our emotional problems, we will be disappointed in the results -- much as when people think losing weight or coming into a lot of money will solve all of their other problems for them. No outside person can fix what's wrong within our own souls.

However, a person who is already secure in their life -- has friends, a job they enjoy (or relatively enjoy), enough money to survive comfortably, good relations with their relatives, etc. -- shouldn't be condemned to believe how something "must" be wrong deep inside them, if they're looking for a soul mate.

So, what do you do when you're confronted with such criticism?

Don't listen! You can be secure in knowing that there is nothing wrong with you. Don't argue about it with anyone. That's pointless. Don't let it plunge you into a deep depression either, and start you on a search for some elusive something that's not really missing from your life.

Hold this thought close to your heart: "The search for a soul mate is not to complete my life, but to enhance it -- the desire to share love is a natural and normal function of human nature."

If you're searching for love, continue with your journey. There is someone out there for you. And no matter how corny it might sound, you "can" create your own story book ending and live ... happily ever after.

Ruth D. Kerce

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