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Michael Webb
How to Get Close When You Are Far Apart

In this age of Internet chat rooms, easy international travel and jobs that take us thousands of miles away from home, long distance romances are more prevalent than ever.

In reality, relationships where husband and wife live under the same roof can essentially be long distance relationships if they have different (or too busy) schedules and rarely spend time together.

I think it is nearly impossible (I did say *nearly*) for long distance relationships to remain blissful over the long term. By long term I mean two or more years being apart with less than two weeks being physically together each year. Intimate relationships thrive on touch, feel, sight and smell.

If you find yourself apart from your loved one, here are some things you can do to survive the temporary separation.

* Have a concrete plan of permanently reuniting within a certain time frame. Hopefully within two years or less. A longer separation will likely destroy your relationship. That also goes for couples who work different shifts and never see each other at home. If you don't give your relationship that vision, it will perish.

* Don't rely solely on email for contact. Again, we need as much physical contact as possible so call when practical and be soothed and encouraged by the sound of each others voice. Send gently worn garments of your clothes so they can remember your distinct smell (maybe use their tshirt as your pillowcase). Send photographs that can be displayed. Write letters and spray with your cologne or perfume. Have a friend videotape you.

* If both of you have access to email, take the 1000 Questions for Couples ecourse -- answering 3 or 4 questions a day over 10 months. Discussing these important and thought provoking questions will draw close together even though you might be physically apart.

* Consider writing sensual and graphic letters or emails (not to company addresses) to your spouse, reliving some of your past hot and steamy times together or dream up what the two of you can do when you come back together. More adventurous couples might try this over the phone.

* Arrange to do the same things together even though you are apart. Plan to take a bubble bath at the very same time in your respective tubs or burn a candle at the same time, taking the moment to think about each other. Rent the identical movie on the same night and imagine holding hands while watching it. Call or email to talk about the movie the next day. If you have cheap long distance you can stay on the phone while watching the video together.

* Visit your sweetheart's relatives if possible. It will help keep your lover present in your mind and draw all of you closer together.

Something to think about...

Please forward this article on to your friends and family if you think they would like it. The world needs more blissful relationships.
Michael Webb

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