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jessi bee
The Types of Men You Want and Why Your Should Avoid Them

Crises of conflict between our hearts (or loins) and our heads are nothing new. Logically, we know that there are certain types of guys who are bad news, baby, bad news. That does not, pretty much ever, stop us from wanting them. It can even make us lust after their internet dating profile even more.

Sigh. Its really not fair. But its okay because as smart, able-minded women, we are beyond giving in to that, right? Just nod your head and try your hardest to believe thats true. Thats what I do. But in all seriousness, it can be difficult to steer clear of the bad apples. So, as a little extra fortification against the formidable fornicators out there, heres a little refresher course in the men youll meet and why you should give them the boot.

The Playboy

We Want Him Because: he's so charming! He knows how to make drinks magically materialize in crowded bars, how to always look impeccable without looking like he tried too hard and how to give every woman around the come ere, baby eyes, even though you know hes dated a handful of your friends.

Avoid Because: This guy is the egotistical equivalent of a kid with ADD. For one brief, shining moment, you might be the best thing going for him, but at the end of the day, he wants a string of beautiful women and beautiful experiences to feed his ego.

You will never be more beautiful to him than he is to himself. The truly dangerous part? Hes so charismatic and generally fun to be around that you just might start agreeing with him. And you never need a man who will bring you down in your own eyes.

The Im-Dark-And-Damaged Guy

We Want Him Because: we want to fix him. Essentially, this guy is to us girls what the hot girl is to the Playboy; a tool to feed our ego. We all (secretly or honestly) think were that girl, the girl in the movie who changes the totally messed up, but still totally sweet, main character guy and then he loves her forever and ever, amen. Not to mention that the whole dark and twisty thing can be hot.

Avoid Because: He may not want to be fixed. More often than not, these guys really relish playing this role. Why? Because it gets them chicks! Like you! It works and they know it. Even if its not just a ploy to get laid, a guy who has serious emotional issues and doesnt take it upon himself to get better is lazy.

You might get off on taking care of him now but that glow will wear off. Whats more, one day you might want to him to reciprocate and chances are that a man who wont take care of himself sure as hell cant be nurturing to a significant other.

Mr. I-Know-You

We Want Him Because: he seems sassy and flirty. This is the guy who, after the first few hours of the first good date, is all smugness and condescension with the notion that hes going you all figured out. He nods in expectant approval as you express opinions and answer questions about yourself, as he feels super self-satisfied that hes already psychologically dissected you to the point of total understanding.

If youre feeling attracted to this guy, its most likely because, right then, you do feel like he gets you. And thats a powerful feeling. Plus, his attitude makes it seem like he was so easily able to fully perceive you, whereas countless men have tried and failed to do so. That first date high will have you believing, at least for a second, that he is the guy for you because of this.

Avoid Because: This is his thing. This is what he does. Hes some kind of amateur psycho-analyst and, like the other guys on this list (are you noticing a theme here?), this is mostly just to beef up his own self-image. He likes to think hes a master of minds.

While it always feels good to feel like someone gets you, this fella isnt for real. Hes not understanding you, hes pigeon-holing you. You are a complex, interesting, evolving and changing creature and when someone slaps a label on you right away, they arent giving you any room to change and progress as a person. And believe me, this kind of guy wont allow you to change in his mind after hes decided who you are. To do that would be to admit he doesnt know everything and thats what hes all about.

For someone to sincerely and entirely know who you are, they have to pick up on the rhythm you function and change and fluctuate ineveryone is in constant, changing motion (at least all healthy people) and for someone to get that, they need to spend more than a few hours at a coffee shop with you. Anyone who claims otherwise is likely completely full of it. Dont book that next date. Its not worth it.
jessi bee

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